All Hallow’s Eve today… and I’m headed up to Toronto to dress up as some kind of Devil-Monkey-Witch thing. I’m armed with far too much candy for my own good, and not enough money to even pay for parking. Fortunately, I get paid today. Oh yeah, gotta go pick up the paycheck.

As a special tribute, our sun has decided to spook us a bit with some Halloween mischief of its own! We’re being bombarded with two solar bursts of some kind. All I know is that my poor girlfriend is crusing at about 35,000 ft over the pacific ocean right now, and they say people up that high are experiencing several times the normal amount of radiation as we here on the ground are. I’m not too happy about that.. but I think it’s not as bad as some people think. Come on, we’re full of cancerous things all over… for god’s sake, Lake Erie is a year round cancer-breeding festival!

Here’s a creepy Halloween story. I had no idea people like eating dolphin. Or that you could turn a river red if you kill a bunch of ‘em. Hm.

Bush is such a giant turd. I can’t even get started talking about him, because there’s so much wrong with what he’s doing that my blog would be 10,000 words a day. I just can’t believe the Patriot Act 2 (the revenge) is on its way (is it already passed?!), this thing called Echelon that I’ve never heard of (you can read why), and god knows what else. Plus, Iraq. I’m sorry, I meant Vietnam II.

Last night, Kenny unveiled his latest innovation in laziness, keeping a PUR pitcher upstairs in his room, rather than having to “come downstairs all the time to get water.” When the rationale behind this move was taken into question, he made clear that, given his laziness, this should not surprise anyone. Nevertheless, I was surprised. I guess this just gives me further insight into the enigma that is Kenny.

Meanwhile, I made porkchops, corn and french fries, while drinking red wine. Also, I started a grease fire reminiscent of The Sims, and in a mild panic, sprayed the bitch with water. If you ever want to see a fire go from somewhat contained to totally out of control in less than one second… DO THAT. After the water flame thrower halted, the fire quickly died out and we laughed our asses off. You may ask, what the fuck were you thinking? As parents and dickhead police officers LOVE to say, “you weren’t thinking.”

I’ve discovered that I’m not the only one who’s confused about who’s lurking around in their attic.

Also, I considered this news clipping too stupid for anyone else to know about, but when I mentioned it to John last night, I realized that people NEED to know things like this are going on out there. You gotta be kidding me!

I just found 4 fantastic Halloween costumes while surfing around:

One
Two
Three
Four

Three (guy on the left) is the best, if you ask me. Which you didn’t, but fuck that.

Yesterday, while leaving Tops supermarket, I was involved in a very retarded parking lot accident. The woman I clashed with was about 45-50, looked like a bull dyke (but could have been straight for all I know), and had a case of the “holier than thous.” I pulled out of my spot, and as I backed up, I noticed the woman coming up behind me (about 3 car lengths back). I continued to back up, stopped and began turning and moving forward - but stopped when I noticed I was close to the car to the right of my parking spot - a Crown Victoria. A woman who was walking in to Tops waved me forward, letting me know I was clear of the Vic. I continued my turn and as I was straightening back out to leave, the woman behind me had decided to go around me to the right. I had lost track of her because I was busy avoiding the other car, but she was behind me with a clear view of what I was doing, yet decided to go around anyway. Here is a diagram to show it exactly.

The woman who waved me on had a clear view of the whole thing, and she immediately said the lady was at fault. She offered to give her phone number to both of us (as a witness), which I accepted, but the lady I collided with said “I don’t need your number. I know what happened.” After the witness tried several times to give her number, she said to the lady “You’re just a bitch, and it was your fault.” Then to me, “Here’s my number, call me.. it wasn’t your fault,” and walked off. Police won’t come to a parking lot accident scene, so we went to the 1st district office.

The lady apparently thought I backed into her, when it came time to file the report! Amazing. The only damage on my car was the front turn signal. Who’s fault was it? The police officer said the person in the aisle has the right of way. My insurance agent spoke with myself AND the witness, and after realizing this lady denied the witness’ phone number, thought I backed into her, AND had a great view of what I was doing yet chose to be impatient and try to pass me, decided that they will find her at fault and not me. Good. I messed up her door pretty nice too!

After that I returned home to watch the Browns lose (again), and make Mulligatawny (sp?) - an Indian soup made with eggplant, corn, roasted red pepper, cashews, pistachios, and lots of other good stuff. It was a recipe that was cloned from the REAL soup nazi (from Seinfeld). Apparently, some guy went to the real soup nazi in NYC and got 3 of his soups - then went home and strained them to find the ingredients!! Madness! It was pretty good, but it took all of 6 hours to cook down to the indicated consistency. Next time I have to simmer it at a higher temp.

Tried out a new bar last night - Woody’s - just down around w.140th. It was pretty sweet, actually. They had 25¢ wings goin’, and plenty of brews. While buying a beer, I met a guy named Dave who was a bit loaded, but friendly as can be. Later, over discussions of bands like Anthrax and Slayer, he covertly bought us each a beer! What a nice guy, that Dave. The extra beer made it noticeably harder to fall asleep, but I made it somehow.

Well, the Concorde has flown its last flight. Kinda sad. It was a big waste of money, but a sweet plane nonetheless.

Here’s a sweet cockpit picture: Cockpit

Here’s one of the Pepsi Concorde: Pepsi Bird

See ya later Concorde!

This is the coolest story I’ve seen in a long time: Cat Burgular Actually Steals Cats! Sweet.

Last night I crashed at 10:30, which didn’t seem all that early to me, until I woke up at 4:50 and felt fully rested! Of course, I fell back asleep and woke up at 7am, feeling tired again.

Oh, and last night as I was falling asleep, Kenny was making his second dinner: a big plate of pasta. I was reading and drifting off when I heard sizzling noises from the kitchen… I feared fire, having seen Kenny leave numerous pans on high heat overnight (or for several hours), so I went to the kitchen quickly. There was a pot of water boiling with a lid on it. It was blatantly on a high setting. I finished my the chapter in my book, turned out the light, and a little over 10 minutes later, heard him return to the kitchen to rescue his meal. I swear I heard him going upstairs, then turning and coming back down, remembering that he was cooking. Amazing. His first dinner? Marco’s pizza and breadsticks with ranch dressing. I just can’t resist telling these stories… they’re so good, I couldn’t conceive better ones on my own.

My roommate Kenny has been upstairs for four months playing Star Wars Galaxies online. I was thinking about writing a book: The Daily Life of a Video Game Recluse. Really, I shouldn’t give a shit, but it has become quite an amazing fixation. He admitted that presently, he is willingly anti-social. The only time I see him is when he’s getting fast food, and when his ex-girlfriend comes to visit. His ex, suffering through a lengthy self-esteem famine, “lets him ride” and accompanies him to various food establishments. Come to think of it, that’s all there is to write about! Forget that idea.

I’ve been smoking Vantage 100’s that my mom gave me. Ugh! 100’s are the worst. My butts are twice the size of most people’s, coz I just can’t get down to the end.