Wednesday August 4, 2004
Archive for August, 2004
Alright, they say it’s a real terror threat, then it’s not. Today, it’s real again. The only insight I can offer is that on NPR yesterday I heard that Al Qaeda has previously taken nearly a decade to plot out certain attacks, depending on the complexity of the operation. So maybe this is real. Well, then explain to me why Laura Bush visited Citicorp today, which was listed as one of the possible targets?! If this were Clinton sending Hillary off to be blown to pieces, we’d understand.. but that doesn’t seem like a Bush move. My final impression is that it’s bullshit.
Instead of giving the new intelligence czar any real power, Bush has gone against the 9/11 panel’s recommendations and attached the necessary strings to make him yet another marionette. These are big surprises, people.
The hideous she-man that tortured prisoners at Abu Ghraib is on trial today, and it was revealed that the torture was just for fun. The general in charge of Abu Ghraib still claims the orders came from high up in the chain of command, possibly the Pentagon or white house.
Thousands upon thousands of complete losers lined up outside the Browns’ stadium in downtown Cleveland today to try out for American Idol. Many of them spent the night outside, stroking one another’s ego until unwarranted optimism made its appearance. Take a look at these pictures… it just goes to show you that people can’t be honest with themselves about their talents or lack thereof. The only attendance estimate I read was 15,000 people! Damn that’s a lot of delusional fatties!
Here’s a fuckin’ news flash: Walking off fast food could take consumers far. Oh really? I thought that I just needed to walk from my desk to the shitter in order to burn off an entire Big Mac meal. What is funny about this story are the straight facts: adding fries and a Coke to the Big Macs brings another eight miles to your plate –a grand total of 20 miles to work it off. Wow. That’s a long way to go, just to enjoy the special sauce and sesame seed bun. I’ll have a rice cake.
Oh! I almost forgot. Check out the audio post I made! With Audioblogger, I can call up from my cell phone and record a post, and it will automatically make it an mp3 and post it! While my first post sucks big time, this may come in handy sometime. We’ll see.
Alright, they say it’s a real terror threat, then it’s not. Today, it’s real again. The only insight I can offer is that on NPR yesterday I heard that Al Qaeda has previously taken nearly a decade to plot out certain attacks, depending on the complexity of the operation. So maybe this is real. Well, then explain to me why Laura Bush visited Citicorp today, which was listed as one of the possible targets?! If this were Clinton sending Hillary off to be blown to pieces, we’d understand.. but that doesn’t seem like a Bush move. My final impression is that it’s bullshit.
Instead of giving the new intelligence czar any real power, Bush has gone against the 9/11 panel’s recommendations and attached the necessary strings to make him yet another marionette. These are big surprises, people.
The hideous she-man that tortured prisoners at Abu Ghraib is on trial today, and it was revealed that the torture was just for fun. The general in charge of Abu Ghraib still claims the orders came from high up in the chain of command, possibly the Pentagon or white house.
Thousands upon thousands of complete losers lined up outside the Browns’ stadium in downtown Cleveland today to try out for American Idol. Many of them spent the night outside, stroking one another’s ego until unwarranted optimism made its appearance. Take a look at these pictures… it just goes to show you that people can’t be honest with themselves about their talents or lack thereof. The only attendance estimate I read was 15,000 people! Damn that’s a lot of delusional fatties!
Here’s a fuckin’ news flash: Walking off fast food could take consumers far. Oh really? I thought that I just needed to walk from my desk to the shitter in order to burn off an entire Big Mac meal. What is funny about this story are the straight facts: adding fries and a Coke to the Big Macs brings another eight miles to your plate –a grand total of 20 miles to work it off. Wow. That’s a long way to go, just to enjoy the special sauce and sesame seed bun. I’ll have a rice cake.
Oh! I almost forgot. Check out the audio post I made! With Audioblogger, I can call up from my cell phone and record a post, and it will automatically make it an mp3 and post it! While my first post sucks big time, this may come in handy sometime. We’ll see.
Tuesday August 3, 2004
Check it out! Driving back from my lunch break I saw two ATM’s crusin’ down the road. Too bad they weren’t spilling money out all over the place.
Alright all you meathead Bush lovers, if you need a ‘relevant’ reason to vote for Kerry instead of Bush, how about because Sharon Stone said she probably would have kissed Halle Berry in the upcoming movie Catwoman, if it weren’t for the conservative climate in America lately, which she said was Bush’s fault.
Check it out! Driving back from my lunch break I saw two ATM’s crusin’ down the road. Too bad they weren’t spilling money out all over the place.
Alright all you meathead Bush lovers, if you need a ‘relevant’ reason to vote for Kerry instead of Bush, how about because Sharon Stone said she probably would have kissed Halle Berry in the upcoming movie Catwoman, if it weren’t for the conservative climate in America lately, which she said was Bush’s fault.
Lately I’ve been on a slight buying spree. I’m justifying it because I got to keep my job and I have a small budget surplus, but really I’m just checking off items on a rather small list. Time to check off one more: a juicer. Yes, Jack La Lanne, I’m in your world now. I’ve been reading for a long time about raw foods and all these fancy enzymes you miss out on by eating processed crap. I’ve also been reading about raw food diets, fasting and that sort of thing. I want to eat raw foods, but I think juicing is a much easier method, and I can combine things that I normally wouldn’t. Like, how am I going to eat half of a head of broccoli, two carrots, some ginger and some parsley if I were to just lay that down on a plate? It just doesn’t seem feasable. So, I ordered the Breville JE95XL Two-speed Juice Fountain Plus. It should be here on Thursday, and I’ll run a few tests, then on Saturday I’ll hit the West Side Market and enter juice paradise. 50 juice-virgins await me in the afterlife.
The other recent cash exodus will provide me with a hard case for my guitar (desperately needed due to the insane humidity, causing my strings to last about 3 hours) and a wah pedal. Certainly the wah pedal was less essential, but I’ve wanted one for a few years now.
Just to confirm that I have not slipped into a realm of utter materialism, salivating over high-priced goods no one needs, I will list the remaining things on my “to be purchased” list:
1. Sewing kit (I think I priced one at like 30 bucks somewhere.)
2. KY Jelly (I only want to buy it because I’ve never seen it for sale! Everyone seems to know what it is, but nobody sells it. What the fuck?)
Finally, if I land a web design contract that affords me a large sum of cashish, I shall purchase EVERY Good Eats DVD, which would ring in at a hefty $249. Plus, I’d buy some of the accessories Alton uses on his show, like the measuring cup plunger set. Keep in mind, that’d be if I were getting something like $2300 for a website. So that’s it. That’s my list. Previously it had a distortion pedal on it, which was also recently purchased.
Man, remember waaaay back, yesterday, when there was a super-heightened-uber-mega-elevated-terror alert? Well, that was a crock of shit. Turns out, the intelligence was OVER THREE YEARS OLD, and widely available to everyone - from newborn babies to Rodney Dangerfield. I’m not sure what light that sheds upon my statement yesterday, about the government letting us know when they DO have specific information. I think what it says is that the government is completely unprepared for anything, even a cockroach in the fucking bathroom, let alone any act of terror. AND they’re three years behind. Three years ago Creed was on top of the world, along with R. Kelly and Janet Jackson. I guess Creed still has fans, but so does Stryper, so what the fuck?
From the desk of the most intelligent actress ever to grace the silver screen: “Let me tell you something — being thought of as a beautiful woman has spared me nothing in life. No heartache, no trouble. Love has been difficult. Beauty is essentially meaningless and it is always transitory.” - Halle Berry Let it out, Halle. Cry on my shoulder, you vapid breast-bearing sellout.
And my childhood hero, Roger Clemens, showed a little league umpire who was REALLY the boss, by spitting sunflower seeds onto him after a bad call at his son’s baseball game. You go, Clem. Actually, I think the umpire should automatically be fired for challenging the ultimate authority of Roger Clemens. Bitch, who you think you fuckin with?
Lately I’ve been on a slight buying spree. I’m justifying it because I got to keep my job and I have a small budget surplus, but really I’m just checking off items on a rather small list. Time to check off one more: a juicer. Yes, Jack La Lanne, I’m in your world now. I’ve been reading for a long time about raw foods and all these fancy enzymes you miss out on by eating processed crap. I’ve also been reading about raw food diets, fasting and that sort of thing. I want to eat raw foods, but I think juicing is a much easier method, and I can combine things that I normally wouldn’t. Like, how am I going to eat half of a head of broccoli, two carrots, some ginger and some parsley if I were to just lay that down on a plate? It just doesn’t seem feasable. So, I ordered the Breville JE95XL Two-speed Juice Fountain Plus. It should be here on Thursday, and I’ll run a few tests, then on Saturday I’ll hit the West Side Market and enter juice paradise. 50 juice-virgins await me in the afterlife.
The other recent cash exodus will provide me with a hard case for my guitar (desperately needed due to the insane humidity, causing my strings to last about 3 hours) and a wah pedal. Certainly the wah pedal was less essential, but I’ve wanted one for a few years now.
Just to confirm that I have not slipped into a realm of utter materialism, salivating over high-priced goods no one needs, I will list the remaining things on my “to be purchased” list:
1. Sewing kit (I think I priced one at like 30 bucks somewhere.)
2. KY Jelly (I only want to buy it because I’ve never seen it for sale! Everyone seems to know what it is, but nobody sells it. What the fuck?)
Finally, if I land a web design contract that affords me a large sum of cashish, I shall purchase EVERY Good Eats DVD, which would ring in at a hefty $249. Plus, I’d buy some of the accessories Alton uses on his show, like the measuring cup plunger set. Keep in mind, that’d be if I were getting something like $2300 for a website. So that’s it. That’s my list. Previously it had a distortion pedal on it, which was also recently purchased.
Man, remember waaaay back, yesterday, when there was a super-heightened-uber-mega-elevated-terror alert? Well, that was a crock of shit. Turns out, the intelligence was OVER THREE YEARS OLD, and widely available to everyone - from newborn babies to Rodney Dangerfield. I’m not sure what light that sheds upon my statement yesterday, about the government letting us know when they DO have specific information. I think what it says is that the government is completely unprepared for anything, even a cockroach in the fucking bathroom, let alone any act of terror. AND they’re three years behind. Three years ago Creed was on top of the world, along with R. Kelly and Janet Jackson. I guess Creed still has fans, but so does Stryper, so what the fuck?
From the desk of the most intelligent actress ever to grace the silver screen: “Let me tell you something — being thought of as a beautiful woman has spared me nothing in life. No heartache, no trouble. Love has been difficult. Beauty is essentially meaningless and it is always transitory.” - Halle Berry Let it out, Halle. Cry on my shoulder, you vapid breast-bearing sellout.
And my childhood hero, Roger Clemens, showed a little league umpire who was REALLY the boss, by spitting sunflower seeds onto him after a bad call at his son’s baseball game. You go, Clem. Actually, I think the umpire should automatically be fired for challenging the ultimate authority of Roger Clemens. Bitch, who you think you fuckin with?
Monday August 2, 2004
Yesterday I went on a 3 hour motorcycle ride down in the Cuyahoga Valley. This is a shot of Boston Mills ski resort with no snow on it. I considered just how fun it’d be to ride a bike, scooter, or even motorcycle down the hills. Just this second I’m pondering my off-road skateboard, and seriously wondering if there’s a way in. There were ZERO cars in the lot.
I watched the movie ‘Hellboy’ this weekend, which actually was pretty good. The concepts and fantasy premise was pretty solid, and the extra characters were interesting by themselves. Check it out.
Oh yeah, and our beer was debuted yesterday. It’s completely flat. In the past, we’ve fermented for 2 weeks and had it sit in bottles for around 4 weeks. This time it was fermenting for over 4 weeks, and in bottles for 2 weeks. Whatever happened, it failed. Atheir drank the flat brew last night and claimed that yes, it does still contain alcohol. I guess we can let it sit a bit longer.
The top story today is about the potential for new terror attacks, which for the first time has been highly specific. Some major New York banks are being targeted, as well as the World Bank in D.C. I’m not sure if this shows that, when given specific information, Homeland Security will notify us of that information, or not. They did it this time, but it’s like the boy who cried wolf. How many times were we put on alert? Or whatever it is - elevated level. You can tell I give a shit. (Though I did put bulletproof windows and armored plating on my car, and dug a fallout shelter in my backyard.)
This is some major news to me: Kerry plans to reduce troops in Iraq and does not intend on sending replacements. While these are relatively vague statements, it’s still a clear stance on the matter. For all I knew prior to this, he was going to send more troops than have been sent already.
Kerry also would be an improvement in the realm of the drug war, which has been one of the biggest, most costly failures in America’s history thus far. The link offers many reference links as well. I just said he’d be an improvement, not a solution… ok?!
So Bill Maher and Michael Moore literally begged Ralph Nader in person to drop out of the race. Guys, you should’ve gotten behind him 6 months ago and so should have everyone else. He’d do more in accordance with Moore’s stances than Kerry could dream of, I’m sure. Alas, now you have to settle for someone, guys. Meanwhile - Japan’s Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi says he will not see Fahrenheit 911, and says “constructive discussions should take place, rather than criticisms.” Not a bad thought, except when your country is completely blind to the many ways in which they’re being HAD.
They finally caught that crazy creature down in Maryland, and it turned out to be a red fox. Apparently it has some kind of skin disease which caused it to lose around 70% of its hair. Damn, what a let-down. I was totally gunning for an all new species, bred by some insane scientist, which then killed him and escaped.
In case you’ve wondered how much gold there really is in Goldschlager, Cockeyed.com has come to the rescue. The answer: not much! Melting it down and molding it might yeild a pin’s worth.
Yesterday I went on a 3 hour motorcycle ride down in the Cuyahoga Valley. This is a shot of Boston Mills ski resort with no snow on it. I considered just how fun it’d be to ride a bike, scooter, or even motorcycle down the hills. Just this second I’m pondering my off-road skateboard, and seriously wondering if there’s a way in. There were ZERO cars in the lot.
I watched the movie ‘Hellboy’ this weekend, which actually was pretty good. The concepts and fantasy premise was pretty solid, and the extra characters were interesting by themselves. Check it out.
Oh yeah, and our beer was debuted yesterday. It’s completely flat. In the past, we’ve fermented for 2 weeks and had it sit in bottles for around 4 weeks. This time it was fermenting for over 4 weeks, and in bottles for 2 weeks. Whatever happened, it failed. Atheir drank the flat brew last night and claimed that yes, it does still contain alcohol. I guess we can let it sit a bit longer.
The top story today is about the potential for new terror attacks, which for the first time has been highly specific. Some major New York banks are being targeted, as well as the World Bank in D.C. I’m not sure if this shows that, when given specific information, Homeland Security will notify us of that information, or not. They did it this time, but it’s like the boy who cried wolf. How many times were we put on alert? Or whatever it is - elevated level. You can tell I give a shit. (Though I did put bulletproof windows and armored plating on my car, and dug a fallout shelter in my backyard.)
This is some major news to me: Kerry plans to reduce troops in Iraq and does not intend on sending replacements. While these are relatively vague statements, it’s still a clear stance on the matter. For all I knew prior to this, he was going to send more troops than have been sent already.
Kerry also would be an improvement in the realm of the drug war, which has been one of the biggest, most costly failures in America’s history thus far. The link offers many reference links as well. I just said he’d be an improvement, not a solution… ok?!
So Bill Maher and Michael Moore literally begged Ralph Nader in person to drop out of the race. Guys, you should’ve gotten behind him 6 months ago and so should have everyone else. He’d do more in accordance with Moore’s stances than Kerry could dream of, I’m sure. Alas, now you have to settle for someone, guys. Meanwhile - Japan’s Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi says he will not see Fahrenheit 911, and says “constructive discussions should take place, rather than criticisms.” Not a bad thought, except when your country is completely blind to the many ways in which they’re being HAD.
They finally caught that crazy creature down in Maryland, and it turned out to be a red fox. Apparently it has some kind of skin disease which caused it to lose around 70% of its hair. Damn, what a let-down. I was totally gunning for an all new species, bred by some insane scientist, which then killed him and escaped.
In case you’ve wondered how much gold there really is in Goldschlager, Cockeyed.com has come to the rescue. The answer: not much! Melting it down and molding it might yeild a pin’s worth.
