‘Don’t call it Big Brother, however. City officials insist it’s much more like the old days when cops walked a beat than like government spying.’
Here are our mini burgers from my “not really a Super Bowl party” party. This was taken before they went in the oven, but you can see how the ground beef is mixed with cheese. While Ev (and ocassionally myself) beraded the two members of our group who insisted on watching the game, we played cards and made delicious food. Oh yeah, and we drank lots of good beer.
This is perhaps the biggest plate of nachos I’ve ever seen in my life. Chili dog nachos to be precise. There were two layers of ground beef, hot dogs, beans and cheese, and then on top we put some sour cream, olives, salsa and green onions. There was about one scoop left when the last of us fell into a beef coma.
Bush’s new budget promises to leave education on the curb, and military spending as the top priority. No child left behind my ass. It’s a crafty approach to use your ex-librarian wife to create the appearance that something’s being done to resolve our education crisis in this country, but the reality is quite grim. At least he has his priorities straight.
Here’s a nice float from Dusseldorf, Germany showing Bush using a cross as a weapon. Great work.
Right after the Super Bowl ended, the Cleveland Browns got a new head coach. The defensive coordinator for the Patriots, Romeo Crennel, accepted the job immediately after his responsibilities with this year’s Patriots ended. Given that he’s coming from a championship-winning team, I think this could be a big positive for the Browns. I just hope he knows a lot about fixing a shitty offensive line.
Ann Coulter proved herself to be an idiot on Canadian television. This is one of the first videos I’ve ever linked to from here, so just be warned. I have no idea what will happen when you open this, but it played perfectly for me. I CAN tell you that you will laugh heartily as you watch her squirm in her chair. If the entire universe held a competition for the biggest bitch, I have no doubt she’d have 90% of the votes.
You’ve probably heard the story about the two teenage girls who baked cookies for their neighbors, and scared a woman so bad she said she had to go to the hospital. For whatever reason, this has been all over the news lately, and I just took the time to read it. They wanted to surprise her, so when she called out to them, they didn’t answer. While I think people unanimously agree the girls shouldn’t be required to pay for the woman’s medical bills, I wonder how few people took note of how irrational this woman’s fears were… or how gripped with fear a lot of our citizens are. This story almost humorously delivers that message, given the fact the girls were bearing surprise cookies, but it also shows that it wouldn’t have mattered who stopped by that evening… the woman was terrified of any unannounced visitors. It’s hard for me to say how deeply this fear penetrates our contemporary society, because I haven’t been alive long enough to be able to draw a comparison with the past. However, in any cinematic depictions of American life earlier in this century, the elderly woman would have flung open the door and smiled warmly, with criminals and strangers furthest from her mind. Regardless of what the truth may be, the news these days is filled with horrifying reports of all kinds of mayhem, and whether or not a lot of people find themselves captivated by each new mutation of deviant behavior (which is probably good for ratings), some people out there are experiencing paranoia on a whole new level.
According to Condi, whose name I won’t bother typing out, Iran is not in the crosshairs of the US. I suppose that’s good news, but come on… you know Rumsfeld and his all-new Pentagon intelligence agency aren’t halting whatever operations they’re engaged in already. In addition, Iran seems to enjoy egging on the administration, and no one’s more vunlerable to an old-fashioned triple dog dare than ex-fratboy George Bush. I bet you could wheel in a keg during any press conference and call him “chicken” a few times, and you’d have him doing keg stands in no time. To someone as dense as he is, attacking a foreign country is on the same level as trying to chug a whole bottle of Jim Beam.
If you can’t stand that Rumsfeld still has a job, you can blame that fact solely on George W. Donnie tells us today that he offered to resign twice in the wake of the Abu Ghraib scandals, but was told by Bush that he should not. I guess Georgie needed his bestest buddy around in case the bullies pushed him around too much. I think the Republicans should expand upon what Arnold Schwarzenegger started and Bush should compile an all-celebrity, dream team cabinet, featuring Sergeant Slaughter of 80’s WWF fame as the Secretary of Defense. Any other suggestions, please add a comment!
I was just telling some people at the office about the amazing amount of seagull carcasses along the shoreway here in Cleveland, and now there’s a story about it! In the same spot that I’ve always noticed a strong fish smell, kagillions of seagulls are often swarming nearby the highway. Usually they’re far enough away from the shore that it’s not a problem, but with most of the water over there frozen, they’ve been coming in closer to the road. Last week as I drove to film at one of our centers, I was spotting bloody piles of seagull all over the place. Ah well, there’s too many of the little bastards anyway.
A sherry enema? A SHERRY ENEMA? What the fuck. I really don’t have anything to say about this.
All those little girls who want to be the Little Mermaid, think again. This poor girl is going under the knife to be fixed up, but that sure doesn’t look like an easy operation. My my.
SomethingAwful.com’s Awful Link of the Day features something truly astonishing: SPINNING TEETH. Yeah, you know those “spinners” people have on their car’s rims? That’s right, you can get them for your fucking teeth now.
What if Bush has been right about Iraq all along? This is the most subversive, forgetful, and downright ignorant statement I think I’ve ever read. However, the author doesn’t concede to Bush completely. I doubt we’re getting the whole picture as far as these elections are concerned. After reading many accounts from actual Iraqis, it seems to me that we’re definitely getting the sugar-coated stories and 1-on-1 interviews that “tug at our heart strings”. Take Bush’s State of the Union address last night. I was out bowling, but I happened to glance up and see his mug on the screen, and had a moment to listen to his prattle. He mentioned a letter sent to him by the mother of a solider killed in Iraq, and then pointed her and her husband out to the crowd. Seventy-two HOURS of clapping proceeded, at which point FOX (obviously I couldn’t change the channel) took the opportunity to zoom in on the hands of husband and wife, touching. I mentioned to my friends that I was disappointed they didn’t add that warm, hazy video effect to the shot. So here was one mother who didn’t feel her son’s death was in vain. There are probably thousands of mothers who would spit in George Bush’s face after having their son or daughter wounded or killed over there. This campaign was in no way a success, and the damage done to the country and the tens of thousands of innocent civilans killed were not worth whatever “achievements” we’ve made now. Above all, what we have to remember is that “spreading democracy” was never our objective in Iraq, as far as the administration is concerned. They sold us on this conquest by tying Iraq to al Qaeda, WMDs, and by telling us it was a breeding ground for terrorists. When everything they claimed was proven to be a lie, they tried to justify it by making it seem humanitarian, despite the fact we’ve destroyed entire cities. The only thing Bush was right about is his administration’s ability to pull the wool over the eyes of the American public.
Iran says it will never scrap its nuclear program. The often mentioned European-Iranian talks are, according to them, only about protecting their nuclear achievements, not to negotiate and end to them. Sensing the impending violence, a group called Iranians for Peace has sprung into action. Definitely a site worth checking out. So, both Bush and Cheney have expressed publicly that they would like to see a diplomatic solution to this “disagreement”. I think it’s time for Condi to show us her diplomatic skills… if such skills exist. It seems to me that the conversation would be fairly succinct:
Condi: So, hey guys, how about you stop making nukes?
Iran: Well, here’s the thing… no.
Condi: Alright then, fuck you guys! (calls up the Pentagon) Light ‘em up, boys!
Bill O’Reilly has embarked upon a week long slander-fest where he’ll be accusing certain professors of being un-American. Bill, something you may have failed to grasp is that these people are intellectuals. You on the other hand prefer to fabricate your figures and quotations, and you’d much prefer bigotry over rational thought.
Many, many news organizations were duped today by pictures of a supposed US solider being held hostage. The “hostage” turned out to be a toy, pictured here. I’m sure most of you have already read about this, as it’s one of the most hilarious events EVER. I guess it just gets funnier and funnier after seeing the picture that everyone was sharing, all the while believing it was an actual solider. My bro believes that it was a prank played by American troops, but I still think it was a pathetic attempt by “insurgents” to frighten us into possibly giving into some sort of demands. (As though Bush would ever try to protect a solider taken hostage.)
Condi tells the EU it’s not cool to be givin’ China arms. Ever since Tiananmen Square, there’s been an arms embargo in place for China, but our good friends in France and Germany wouldn’t mind having it lifted. We all know what the flag-waving, magnetic ribbon-sporting, confederate flag-loving crowd would have to say about this. Personally, I think this country’s doomed, but I don’t know how I feel about China beefing up their military. I worry that Taiwan could encounter a lot of trouble if China had a bit more military strength. Condi says the US has a “good dialogue” with the EU on this issue. Suuuuure we do. Don’t push it, Ms. Rice. I’m nervous enough having a neocon as our Secretary of State.
Mr. Paul Craig Roberts, a guy I know nothing about, talks about the many ways in which our privacy is being desecrated in the ever-growing police state America’s morphed into. One line that really stuck out was: Americans have privacy rights only against intrusions by private individuals and private institutions. So true.
That little bastard Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow, which means we’re in for six more weeks of winter. I wonder if global warming affects little Phil. Probably not. At this point, I’d love it if winter only lasted until mid-March! Here in sunny Ohio, it usually snows at least once in April. Oh how I hate winter.
Al Sharpton asks us all to boycott KFC, teaming up with PETA to slam the company on their treatment of chickens. I’m way ahead of you Al, but I must admit I have fond memories of the KFC Buffet in Sandusky. Nicodemia, you know exactly what I’m talkin’ about. As much as I usually scoff at PETA and some of their ludicrous complaints, packing chickens as tight as they do just ain’t cool. Chickens are dumb as hell, but I can’t even imagine they taste as good when they can’t even move around.
That moron that jammed up the innerbelt yesterday? Yeah, he was drunk. I still don’t understand how you can merge onto the wrong side of the highway and not immediately try to correct your mistake! Even driving up the off-ramp, you’d have to be confused as hell, seeing cars FACING YOU. Ah well.
This is kind of interesting… the King of Nepal just ousted the presiding government and has taken control back. Apparently he was in power before, and he promises he will return things to a state of democracy. Understandably, people have their doubts.
Keeping my promise, here’s another person who thinks they see Jesus’ face on something. This time it’s in the melted butter in a frying pan. WOW. Just think - these people have the right to vote!
Here it is people. My all new, ridiculously comprehensive knife set. It slices, it dices, it has eight fucking steak knives! This thing was on some sort of absurd sale on Amazon last Friday. Originally $355 (list), I got it for $25!! It also came with stainless steel measuring cups and spoons, and so many spoons and spatulas that I couldn’t close the utensil drawer. Sweet.
And here’s my new office! I’m typing right there at that desk, in fact. This camera phone utterly sucks, but perhaps you can make out what’s going on. There’s a mini-A/V cart which has a VHS copying deck on it, but beyond that is my desk with both my PC and iMac. I’ve got a stunning panoramic view of our parking lot, but nevertheless, a huge window. It’s pretty damn nice up here! I don’t even have to turn on the god damned flourescent lights, which I hate so much. Just a halogen and natural light for me, baby.
I guess Iraq has a new president: Ghazi al-Yawer. There’s a picture of him in the linked article. Of course he’s reported to have requested that US troops remain in the country, but despite my tendency to jump towards conspiracy-related conclusions, I can’t imagine any sane man would ask the US troops to leave at this point. It’s not as though Iraq has any semblance of an army, especially one that could maintain order. I really do hope (go ahead and laugh) that this election can in some way bring the Iraqi people together. It’s not that I ever supported the insurgency, it’s more that I just understood their motivations. Now, elections (however flawed) have taken place, and a leader was chosen. If violence starts to dissipate, that’d be fantastic. I’ll still be highly critical of our military’s role over there, don’t worry.
Kerry, you whining coward. He’s blaming his loss on Osama Bin Laden. John, despite what your obviously irrelevant poll data showed, you lost because you have no conviction. You tried to encompass everyone’s beliefs instead of just coming out strong and firm about what YOU believed to be right. Given the fact that 51% of those who voted selected a lying, corrupt war criminal, you should have caught on to the fact that his popularity stemmed from his macho facade, not his intelligence or tolerance. If anything, a lot of these meatheads voted for him because he’s intolerant! Do us all a favor and don’t even consider running in 2008… for anything.
Some jackass who can’t read road signs extended my morning commute by at least 30 minutes. The actual headline indicates that he was traveling on the wrong side of the innerbelt. Not only did he manage to completely halt traffic coming into downtown, but he hit a tractor trailer carrying diesel fuel. I’m still trying to figure out what off-ramp this guy imagined was an on-ramp. This is like the third times this has happened recently! Are people getting dumber?! Don’t answer that.
Nicodemia, here’s another fantastic WKYC article to appease you. First Energy, one of our local electric companies, is calling a Fear Factor episode featuring an electric substation “irresponsible”. Their reasoning? They’re worried about “copycat” stunts. You know what? If anyone is dumb enough to think a substation is a safe place to play, they deserve to die. Not to mention, First Energy sure as fuck wouldn’t be found responsible! Jesus tap-dancing Christ people… can’t you find some sort of legitimate cause to waste away your life supporting?
Here’s one for the boys over at AC Choppers: the world’s longest chopper! (At least, I hope it’s the longest!)
