Like everyone else I know, I’ve been ignoring the spreading Asian Bird Flu. It has now spread to fowl in Romania and Turkey, and I’m hearing more and more about preparing for what promises to be a pandemic. Even us ‘invincible’ Americans are finally taking note. I’m just thanking my lucky stars that it’s not the Polish Sausage Flu. I can handle giving up chicken… but please, not my precious sausage.

You can count on Ralph Nader to keep an eye on corporate greed, even when it’s being completely ignored by everyone else. For instance, I’ve heard very little about no-bid contracts happening in the wake of Katrina and Rita, but he’s just written this article which details some of the biggest offenders. Even Carnival Cruise Lines is overcharging for the sheltering of evacuees. A room that would normally cost you $599 a week is inflated to $2550. I don’t want to hear that “inconvenience” costs $2000 a week, per person.

A 9-year-old girl killed her 11-year-old friend over a rubber ball. I have to say, CNN.com’s headline is damn near laughable, despite the tragic nature of this story: “…she fatally stabbed her 11-year-old playmate after a tug-of-war over a rubber ball went sour.” Went sour?! Christ, I’ll say that’s sour.

The Browns beat the Chicago Bears 20 to 10. I was playing in the Smitty Tour for most of the game, but we finished just in time to see all the action. We were down 10 - 6 when the 4th quarter started, and we shut ‘em up awful fast.

Have you ever heard of the Moon Alphabet? Me either, but it’s kinda neat. This is a link to a MetaFilter post, so you can also find the link to the Moon type generator. Oh what fun.

Speaking of fun, see if you can balance the baguette and avoid all the falling croissants. (Flash game)

Here’s a list of the 29 healthiest foods. I’m amazed… sausage and bacon are nowhere on this list.

Pictures of cigarette packs. Man, if you ever made your life’s goal to smoke every brand, I’m pretty sure you’d die trying.

Bad news everyone: we missed our chance at purchasing 476 pounds of Lego pieces. Son of a BITCH! (I think this guy overpriced them a wee bit.)

BWIII over at Seven Day Meatkeeper got a new roof! Not just any roof, mind you… a green metal roof! Congratulations, guys. It looks sweet!

Been listening to an old favorite lately: The Flowering of the original Charles Lloyd Quartet was recorded in Oslo during the band’s 1966 European tour. Beautiful music punctuated with some incredible solos; crafted very tightly in light of Lloyd’s later stuff. Anyway, one of the several reasons i’ve always enjoyed slipping this one on is the chance it gives me to reflect on the splendid jacket art. I finally got around to reading the liner notes: wherein i learned of the Belgian graphic artist Jacques Richez, whose painting graces the cover and who is described in this fashion:

“Richez is, in fact, one of Europe’s most imaginative designers in all media; he is also a fan of such magnitude that he has sped to neighboring countries in his racing car to catch a performance by the Quartet, his mutton-chop mustaches flying in the wind. (For those who don’t know, ‘mutton-chop mustaches’ is a phrase invented by George Avakian upon first seeing Jacques Richez’s splendid facial adornments.)”

Richez is surprisingly tough to track down online (except in French), but i did come across his design for the seal of Brussels’ 1958 Exposicion Universal. Gorgeous. Like Bernard Buffet without the paranoiac edge. This design apparently thrust Richez into the forefront of European modernism and enabled him to spend a great deal of time racing his car around in pursuit of hot jazz, occasionally crafting posters for the theatre and whatnot.

In closing, here is the seemingly important natal chart of Jacques Richez.

It’s a good day for those who enjoy seeing Bush flounder and fail. After he made his self-proclaimed “significant” speech yesterday, polls are showing his approval rating is probably below 40%. The Washington Post ran a piece entitled Political Capital Running Low, which I found very appropriate. They talk about his recent nomination, and the fact that even a lot of Republicans aren’t comfortable with Ms. Miers taking a seat on the bench. The fact is, she is one ugly witch. Oh, wait, that’s not supposed to be a factor. Back to the speech yesterday. I listened to what I could while I was driving, and let me tell you, there wasn’t a split second where the point he was making couldn’t have been soundly refuted. If I had the time myself, I’d go through the whole thing and do just that. As always, he took the liberty of “translating” the events of the past four years for us. He mentioned, once again, that the terrorists “hate freedom”, and that they’re cowards. He drew vague ties between 9/11 and Iraq, which has already been disproven in so many ways. Overall, the only thing significant about the speech was the significant lack of logic.

A very specific terrorist threat, targeting the New York subways, has caused police to heighten security measures there. The Bush administration must really be dismissing this threat, because so far every time I’ve heard or read about it, they’ve taken the time to mention “The Bush administration is downplaying the threat.” What I want to know is… if you were a terrorist, why would you make threats beforehand? Why would you give any warning whatsoever? That seems to me like it would be counterproductive. Then again, I ain’t no terrorist.

It was really just a matter of time before Bling Bling Barbie hit the shelves.

I think nicodemia will find Book to be interesting. It’s a scrapbook that was passed randomly between four artists; two in Brooklyn and two in Belfast.

Photoshop Phriday is Plane Common Sense 2.

Right now I’m knee-deep in the making of this camping ‘documentary’. Yesterday I gathered a bit more footage of the kids on a hike, and today and tomorrow I’ll be getting two more staff interviews to include. By then I’m hoping I’ll have enough good stuff to condense down into an entertaining piece. Last night I spent a few hours gathering up music for it, which was more difficult than I imagined. Nevertheless, it’s coming along well. I may come in to work on Saturday to see how much I can get done.

A spy in the White House? Yep, a genuine spy, hanging out in Cheney’s office. Unfortunately, he failed to locate the blueprints for Cheney’s personal hovering weather control station. He also skimmed over the details of Dick’s bionic components, which are rumored to be fueled solely by anger. Instead, he dug up damaging information about the Philippines’ president in hopes of starting a coup. Leandro Aragoncillo, a native of the Philippines, passed the information on via e-mail, which it seems is what got him caught. All I really have to say about this is: Dammit. Why couldn’t you find something good and leak it to the press?!

Senate Approves Detainee Treatment Rules. Yeah, because the UN rules outlining what constitutes war crimes were just for play. They were never meant to be taken seriously. And all those breaches of international law were okay since they took place before you guys decided to start playing by someone’s rules. What a stinky crock of shit.

I doubt any readers of r3tr0 give a shit, but the NHL is back in action. This means that, once the Flames start kicking ass, you’re going to have to skim over some shit you don’t care about. Still, I’m excited!

Dig this Plain Dealer headline: Red Light Runners: Get Ready to Stop It. FUCK! My whole livelyhood is based upon my uncanny ability to blow through red lights. Never do I run a light on accident, it is always on purpose. Plus, since you pluralized “runners”, that must mean you’re dismantling my posse - Red Light Runners of America. This is just great. Ok, this story is actually about the approval for red light cameras to be installed around Cleveland. Still, the author of this article is practically gloating about their installation. Despite that a minority of folks here approve of them, they lead with that figure, citing that 40 percent approve of the idea. Then, the testimonials - one from an 84 year old man that says he supports anything that can slow down traffic. OF COURSE! He’s 84 years old! A kid on a tricycle is moving too fast for him! On the positive side, if you take the time to read all the way to the last 2 paragraphs, you’ll learn that it won’t pick you off for getting stuck in the intersection waiting to make a left turn, nor will it catch you creeping forward waiting for the green light. Either way, it’s another waste of money that will assist in getting Jane Campbell out of the mayor’s office.

Bad news for Americans: 90% of women and 70% of men will eventually become obese. So what you’re telling the men of America is that they really need to start developing a fetish for fat chicks, PRONTO. Notice their word usage, too: obese. They’re not just saying ‘overweight’, but full-on obese. Personally, I blame the old food pyramid for this. You know, the one where it recommended 11 servings of MSG each day.

How to talk more awesome in 9 easy steps. This really isn’t that funny, but the first one on the list was alright.

Our top story tonight: Lindsay Lohan was involved in a minor car accident, where she suffered minor injuries. Oh you poor thing! Baby, from now on, let me drive. I’ll take care of those nasty paparazzi as well.

What do we know about Bush’s latest Supreme Court nominee, Harriet Miers? Joshua Frank over at CounterPunch.org explains how she fits right in to Bush’s circle of scandalous villains. Plus, here’s her blog! (obvious paradoy)

Early next year, we’ll be getting a new nickel! How exciting!!! Actually, it’s incredibly lame. You know, we have the most boring money in the known universe. Sure, you can’t do much with coins. However, even our paper money is stuck in a rut, apparently trying to preserve tradition. Even the hidden Illuminati references are still on our dollar bill! You’d think they would have phased those out by now.

Leave it to Bush to pick a Supreme Court nominee who has never been a judge before. Imaginary quote: “Well uh, gee, I thought I could pick whoever I liked! First I picked Cheney, but he’s already the Vice President. Then I picked my favorite Dragonball Z character, but he’s a cartoon. This was the best I could come up with.” She’s known to have donated to an anti-abortion group while serving on the Dallas City Council, but of course they placate concerns by saying her mind is not made up on the issue. One thing is clear: the “middle” of the American political spectrum is now far right of where it once was.

Cars stolen in America have been showing up in Iraq, and some are being used for suicide bombings. Boy, I bet this has got the FBI and CIA mighty pissed off. It’s suspected that the theft ring probably isn’t directly tied to the insurgency, but the cars are making their way there somehow.

A fever-causing bacteria was found in the air around the DC mall, following an anti-war protest. Get out your tinfoil hats, folks. People are already suspecting the CIA of spraying down protesters… but for what reason? The most logical rationale I could come up with is that they could identify people that missed work on Monday due to the known symptoms of this “rabbit fever”. Even so, that seems ultra far-fetched. I think the blame could more sensibly be placed upon some extremist neocons.

Bob Taft’s current approval rating: 15%. Congratulations.

Many people are upset that airlines are likely to allow cell phones on planes. Their primary concern is that they will no longer have an excuse for being unreachable. What is now a break from their busy schedules could become a continuation of work. As far as I’m concerned, they’re describing a cramped, unsettling experience as if it were a tranquil, meditative retreat. I’ve been on one of the longest commercial flights man can currently endure, and even then I could hardly catch a wink of sleep. I do empathize a little with these people, though. Just escaping what might be a nagging boss, or avoiding a stressful situation could be enough to make the most uncomfortable experience a more pleasant one. Still, don’t try to tell me that a ride on an airliner is “the last bastion of peace”. For fuck’s sake.

Peter Diamandis, the man who put up the X-prize, is promoting a new, futuristic idea: a Rocket Racing League. It’s time I got my pilot’s license, dammit. Someone call up Tide and tell them to make me a rocket plane.

A new ‘Steve Don’t Eat It’ courtesy of TheSneeze.com - Silkworm Pupas. Good lord!

More World Beard and Moustache Championship photos. I wish I could find big versions of these.

Who could be truly at peace without this audio gallery of quotes from hollywood’s finest hour?