I’m still not sure what food item to blame for my gastrointestinal disaster yesterday. Let’s take a comment vote. Was it:
A.) bacon & cheese pierogis
B.) potato & garlic pierogis
C.) cabbage
D.) 4-cheese pesto chicken pizza
E.) apple pie with ice cream
F.) all of the above, you gluttonous bastard

Please leave your choice in comment form.

Snoopgate - will it bring down Herr Bush? Considering everything else illegal this guy’s done, I doubt it. Still, this may be the biggest scandal he’s ever been implicated in. (That is, if you don’t count rigging two presidential elections.) Several blogs I visited today mention a speech he made back in February 2004, in which he mentioned that all of the investigations and wiretaps were being carried out with court orders and in accordance with the law. Whoops! Way to lie right to our faces, jerkface.

The election results in Iraq inspired an Iraqi commentator to say “In two and a half years Bush has succeeded in creating two new Talibans in Iraq.” Despite the hopes of allied forces, Iraqis clearly prefer a religious leader over the US-appointed puppets of democracy. I think now would be a good time for Bush et al to ask themselves, “are we done ramming our beliefs down their throats?!” Seriously, how can so many powerful people be so ignorant?

Saddam has calmed down and returned to court.

The NYC transit strike continues, and here’s some pictures. I think if I lived in NYC, I’d be enjoying the change of pace. Walking with everyone, people riding bikes in the cold… it’s pretty neat. I read a ‘tip’ on one blog saying that he found it to be a good idea to put a sign on his back saying what his destination was, in order to hop into a car headed the same way. They’re only letting cars with 4 people or more in them below (I think they said) 96th street, which if you know Manhattan at all, is pretty damn far up there.

US Troops draw up own exit strategy. I almost crapped my pants with laughter after reading the new ‘operation’ name.

You can call me a dirty old hippie for saying so, but it’s things like this that make San Francisco and the bay area totally awesome. Some dudes converted a downtown parking pace into… a park! They laid down sod, a bench, and even a tree for all to enjoy.

I’m going to re-use WKYC’s headline because it’s so telling and accurate: Local man’s “charity” nothing more than a scam. Yes, a guy ringing a bell and accepting donations for ‘veterans’ was just taking the bucket home with him. The best part of the article is his quote: “I was about to lose my apartment… my wife didn’t want anything to do with me anymore.” Gee, why hadn’t she remained smitten with a guy so cunning and admirable as this one? Perhaps we’ll never know.

New York City transit workers are officially on strike. According to the sensationalist, liberal, Jew-run media (joking, joking), that means 7 million people are out of a ride. Time to strap on those walking shoes, people. Compred to the weather here, it’s practically summer. Every street, driveway, and sidewalk seem to be frozen in ice, here in Cleve-town.

Bush says there’s no “unchecked power” in play regarding the secret domestic spying that’s going on. He did admit that it was taking place, but said that exposing it and making it a discussion point is helping the enemy. I fail to see how. Perhaps all discussions between domestic and international terrorists will suddenly become indecipherable to NSA agents? Seriously, does Bush really think this is the tipping point, and we’ve lost our edge? I doubt that. This is virtually the same crime that Nixon was impeached over, which I suppose prompted this AlterNet article: A Time To Impeach. In it, there is a very poignant quote from a Republican, no less - “This is not how our democratic system of government works - the President does not get to pick and choose which laws he follows.” Gosh, he has a point, doesn’t he?

A Bolivian article asks Bush “A victory against whom?” which I think is an extremely valid question. I wonder what his response would be.

On the topic of infringements on our rights, the Ohio Patriot Act, currently residing on Bob Taft’s desk, would supposedly allow police to arrest anyone who didn’t provide their name, birthdate, or address, even if they weren’t doing anything wrong! Hey, that’s just great.

Here’s a souped-up pogo stick that lets you jump five feet in the air with!

I can’t look at this at work, but it must be outrageous. You can now buy yourself the extra foreskin your circumcision never let you enjoy.

Cockeyed.com checks out insulation. What materials are good for keeping ice cold? Well, not surprisingly, balloons make lousy insulators.

Last night I was terribly upset to discover that a Presidential address was taking place - right when Family Guy was set to start. Fortunately, they still aired the whole episode afterwards, but come on now. Of course I tuned to another channel during the address, but for those of you with way too much time on your hands (even more than me), here is the transcript. Allegedly, he took a more realistic approach than in previous speeches, saying that it has been a far more difficult process than he initially expected. That’s one way of putting it. According to today’s CNN.com poll, he didn’t sway a whole lot of people.

Have you ever wondered how a guy like Beck could be a Scientologist? You’re not alone. If you’re like me, you find yourself wondering how such an innovative musician could possibly believe that all of our suffering comes from aliens and a volcano. Well, maybe it’s not as big of a deal as some people make it out to be.

Lou Reed takes photographs. I love ya Lou, but I can’t say I’m all that impressed. Time-elapsed lights do not equate to genius. Still, knowing he took them makes them a little more artistic to me.

You mean to tell me I’ve been drinking shitty, watered-down egg nog all these years because Ohio had a relaxed policy regarding its ingredients?! Ahh, that’s okay, because I’ve never even tasted egg nog! Mwahaha!

The new GPS driving assistant, TomTom, has an add-on feature where Mr. T yells the directions at you. Man, it doesn’t get a whole lot better than that. Here are some random Mr. T facts you might not have known.

It was quite a while ago that I posted these crazy custom Japanese trucks, but here’s another set of them to refresh your memory. Would lights like these be illegal in the US or something? How much cooler would this country be if instead of stupid ass ricers, all those asshats were making wicked trucks like these?!!

You better hope Smokey the Bear isn’t really dead.

Watch this guy dunk OVER another guy. Okay, you’re done.

Check this out - a guy made a tall bike out of a bunkbed frame he found in the trash. No brakes though! If you see this thing, get out of the way.

Also, there’s some anonymous guy claiming he knows why The Chappelle Show was cancelled, and the reason behind all of its troubles. The Chappelle Theory says Dave has been harassed by a group called the Dark Crusaders, whose members include such celebrities as Bill Cosby, Oprah, Whoopi Goldberg, and the like. Pretty outrageous, but it strangely seems to coincide with some of the show’s sketch content and timeline.

Whoa whoa whoa, hold up. An owl managed to get himself stoned?!

The Holiday Graze is in full effect at work. This is what the table looks like right now, at about 10am. Not all that impressive, but by lunchtime it will be completely packed with goodies. I’m currently enjoying egg rolls made by a coworker’s wife, which are usually gone by about 10:30. Last year I think we ate them at about 11:15, but this year people know how tasty they are, and get down there as early as they can.

At first, I thought this was the moment we’ve all been waiting for. Bush finally takes responsibility - but only for the failed intelligence that led up to the war, and the fact that he acted on it. He also clung firmly to his assertion that Saddam was a threat, and that the world is a better place without him in power. I suppose that’s subjective, but I can tell you, Bushster, that a great deal of Americans would have to say that not only would our foreign relations be in a better place, but even the average Iraqi would probably be slightly better off had we not been taken for a ride. True, Saddam is very far from a model humanitarian. Yet just look at the widespread violence in Iraq these days, and look at the situation before we invaded. In any case, Bush needs to expound upon this statement, and some drastic action needs to take place before even the most moderate Democrat is going to accept his apology.

Today is Election Day in Iraq, and there have been some reports of violence scattered about. Riverbend talks about it, saying that Allawi appears to be the lesser of two evils, despite his track record of being an American puppet. The other main candidate is more or less pro-Iran, so for the more forward-thinking Iraqis, that’s probably not a good thing. This will be interesting, and hopefully the outcome will be accepted, no matter what it is.

There’s a little tiff going on between the US and Canada over some comments made by ambassadors and prime ministers. Apparently, the more recent arguing centered around a conference on climate change, where Canadian representatives asserted that (gasp!) the US is ignoring scientific evidence. Why anyone would take offense to having the oh-so-obvious pointed out to them is beyond me. We have a President that probably believes the earth is only 6,000 years old, so I’m sure Canadians aren’t surprised by our incompetence when it comes to global warming.

Girls, you filthy, naughty things. A recent study showed that while heterosexual men are only aroused by human females, women are aroused by all human sexual activity (lesbian, hetero and homo male sex) as well as slightly aroused by NON-HUMAN SEX! Go figure. I’m aroused by Tootsie Rolls and the smell of gasoline, so hey. (Not really.)

I don’t know if any r3tr0 readers will get anything from this, but it was interesting to me. What do you charge if you’re a freelance designer? I never have an idea. This article gives you a method for calculating approximately what you should charge. Hey, thanks.

Want to wake up everyone in a mile radius? Just pick up this air raid siren from eBay!

A rapist struck twice in the same apartment complex, and after the crimes, pretended as though he was the victims’ boyfriend. Both victims say he tried to call them and act like they were dating, and police had no trouble catching him. Stupid and very weird. (video link)

Here’s an update on the spaceport story.