Wednesday December 14, 2005

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Tuesday December 13, 2005

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Just in case y’all didn’t know… Ant Pharm now has his own blog. I’ve linked it to the left, and I’ve linked it to the right. I’ll link it all day, and I’ll link it all night.

Plooyah.

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Look at my kooky cat. I wrapped him up extremely tight in this blanket I have, tucked the edges into the couch, and rather than try to escape, he went to sleep. I think he was sitting up, too… but his head had a place to rest and that’s all he wanted.

Wasn’t this well known over a year ago? A European CIA probe uncovered that, despite the blatant lies of Bush, Condi, and the like, prisoners were indeed transported in secret to various countries to be tortured and interrogated. A plane spotter in Spain took a photograph of one of the planes that’s suspected to be used for such transports. Anyway, all of this is being called “Breaking News”, and we can all start hoping Bush will go to prison.

Speaking of sending Bush to prison, a Brazilian human rights group is currently collecting signatures to put Bush on trial for crimes against humanity. How many countries have to do something like this before they can actually imprison him? It would be cool if he had to do a tour of the world’s prisons before being handed over to someplace like Yemen for the duration. Hey, what goes on in Yemen anyway? I just read a fairly interesting Rolling Stone article about a Yemeni “insurgent” who has fought American forces in Iraq and Afghanistan, as well as defended Muslims against the Russians. As for Yemen, it’s a poor desert country that unified (North & South Yemen) in 1990. According to the CIA factbook, they only have 1 FM radio station. Yowza.

Air Rage, Sex Rage… call it what you will. Two happy travelers hoping to join the mile high club were recently interrupted by airline staff, after their lovemaking sounds filled the cabin. Witnesses say the couple then started to fight the crew, and the pilot chose to divert to Bermuda. They face a fine of almost $60,000 USD, probably because this wasn’t some little regional jet they diverted - it was a 777.

This might not be a big deal to most of America, but the construction of the Euclid Corridor project may force Gallucci’s (a rather well-known, 90-year-old Italian market) to close for several days. Once again, the headline of an article made it seem a great deal more serious than it really was. It said the project may “force Gallucci’s to close”, and didn’t explain it may only be for two days until the second paragraph. All I know is, if they need a place to store extra salami and kalamata olives for those days, my stomach is available to rent at no cost.

This guy invented a suit specifically made for protesting. You could probably take a few billy clubs to the head or gut in this thing and keep right on going. It also monitors your heart rate and projects it through a speaker. Weird. Why didn’t he put some sort of face shield on it?

Cute Overload. I think you can guess what purpose this site serves. There’s one rather interesting entry entitled Cute or Sad? which features a dog that happens to be taking care of a slew of ducklings. I’m gonna have to say that’s cute.

If you read The Sneeze, you may have recently read a post about the guy’s 5-year-old son scratching a train into their new shower stall door. In order to find out what the artist’s motivation was, he decided to conduct an interview. Pretty damn funny.

Beer mosaic. What the hell is it? Carlos Santana? It looks a lot like the part in UHF where they do the Beverly Hillbillies / I Want My MTV parody.

Up in Toledo, a woman cooking pierogis found one that appears to have Jesus’ face on it. GoldenPalace.com bought it for (please sit down) $1,700. Out of all the impressively stupid discoveries like this, I must say it sure does look like a face. It’s tough to say it looks like Jesus, because it must be awfully hard to scorch the image of a black man into a pale white pierogi skin. You know, I think I’m going to make a little heat-resistant stencil of Jesus’ face, get one of those little torches for making creme brule, and toast my way into fortune and fame.

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Monday December 12, 2005

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Either I’ve gotten too picky, or the internet has switched over to Boring Mode.

I’m sure you’ll all be happy to know that the Flames beat Ottawa in overtime on Saturday night. Yes, my Saturday night was that eventful. Dammit though people, this was a sweet game. Ottawa currently has the best record in the NHL, so you know it felt good to stick it to ‘em. Last night I was invited out as well, but after taking care of some Christmas shopping with Echanos, I didn’t feel like venturing out into the cold, white stuff. Also, in just under 3 hours, about 87% of my Christmas shopping was complete… and that’s after starting at 0%.

Richard Pryor has died at age 65. He was diagnosed with MS back in the 80’s, and died of a heart attack. Many, many times have I laughed so hard it hurt from the genius that was Richard Pryor. I would rank him in the top 10 funniest people ever… and yeah, I have zero clout, but still. RIP Richard.

Riots have been breaking out in Sydney after some a large group of white folks attacked a group of middle eastern folks on a beach. The Prime Minister says there is no racist undercurrent in Australian society. Hm.

Welcome to Ohio, where your vote won’t count unless you’re Republican. The sad thing is, we had a chance to vote down a lot of these changes back in November, and like the fucking flock of sheep we are, we let them bend all the rules in favor of totalitarian government. Great job.

I also would like to apologize for screwing up some links in recent history. Will you guys PLEASE tell me when a link doesn’t go to the right site? I can easily correct it right away, but after a week or so goes by, there’s no chance I’ll remember the URL. Just leave me a comment to get my attention. I noticed this was a problem just the other day when I was showing this page to a friend. There were 3 links I wanted to show him and all 3 were fucked up! Dammit!

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Friday December 9, 2005

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Thursday December 8, 2005

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For anyone who’s ever trawled the ‘writing gigs’ posts on craigslist: Someone finally stuck it to the ‘branding’ vampires who have ruined a once viable forum. Here’s the original post; here’s the let’s call it clarification.

On a different island, Fidel gets personal.

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Happy Bodhi Day, everyone.

This morning when I woke up it was 1°F outside. That’s -17°C for you enlightened Europeans that I know frequent my blog. As I stepped out the door, my nostrils froze solid, I fell to the ground and shattered into a million pieces. Fortunately a man was walking by with a broom and was able to reassemble me with little difficulty. People, remember: wear your shatter-proof underwear. If you don’t, then don’t come crying to me when your family jewels shatter on the sidewalk.

Everyone seems to be talking about the bipolar man shot by a US Marshall for claiming he had a bomb on a plane. The first time I heard the story, I thought the man himself was armed, but now that I know he was unarmed, I don’t know what to think. By no means should his yelling have been ignored, but whether or not killing him was the solution - I don’t know. Ah, thanks once more to Robin on Howard Stern for clarifying. She JUST started talking about it, and said they chased the man around for some time, cornering him, trying to get him contained, but when he reached in his backpack, they opened fire. Eh, you gotta do what you gotta do. Too bad they couldn’t manage to cuff him and get him outta there.

Is Rumsfeld planning on stepping down? I recall the quiet rumors around the time of Bush’s re-election that he was giving the idea some thought. An insider says that he didn’t step down at that time mostly because that would have given critics just what they wanted. I just KNEW these guys were petty enough that they get off on making people angry. Now you have to wonder what percentage of their actions are solely aimed at making “liberals” angry. I’d wager.. oh… 98%.

Will Tom Cruise sue South Park for claiming he’s gay? Why am I starting two paragraphs in a row off with a question? I don’t have answers to either of these questions, but I can surely say that if Cruise does sue them, it will only add to the evidence that he is an uptight, cowardly, insecure asshole - in addition to being one of the spookiest celebrities out there.

Ann Coulter was literally booed off stage at a University of Connecticut appearance. They claim she preaches a message of hate and intolerance. Yeah, that’s her alright.

Just a few blocks from my house there was a pretty sizeable fire, which seems to have claimed the life of one woman. An abandoned building next to US Bank and Wings ‘n Things went up in flames yesterday morning, and even when I drove past it at about 5pm, it was still smoldering. There was even a lot of smoke at that time, which had my clothes smelling like a campfire when I got home. I imagine they’ll discover the woman was homeless, because that building’s been boarded up for at least 8 months. I wonder if they’ll even be able to ID her.

A gigantic gallery of weird street signs. Some aren’t that weird, and some will probably never be completely deciphered.

Here are some of the “best” mistakes in popular movies. The stormtrooper one I never noticed, but that seems pretty damn funny!

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