Well, last night we had a nice meeting at the Sachsenheim once more. Snow had closed in on Cleve-town, and apparently I had just missed the roads turning into chaos. I can confirm how slippery it was, because even though I only had to go a mile down Denison, when I got to my driveway, I slid right past. I hope BWIII made it home safely, because he had a long drive ahead of him.

My dream last night was extremely odd. From what I can tell, I was in some foreign country that was pretty lawless… but had endless beaches and amazing scenery. The area we were staying in was very slummy and crowded, with unmarked streets darting in every direction, and small bands of armed men occasionally heading out to rob a bank. While driving up a steep hill, our car almost tipped backwards on itself! This was no ordinary land. Of course, there was a small cast of friends… Takeaway and his woman, nicodemia, my cat Shiva, and a few others. We swam in the sea and ate at strange restaurants. Back at the place we were staying, Shiva caught a gopher that was hopping around, and proudly brought it to me. When I finally woke up, I wanted to go back for many reasons, and I tried to think of what place on our earth might resemble this land. Perhaps somewhere in Mexico, but I thought of Phuket, Thailand… which I’m sure is a lot safer than this place was.

Back to reality - Bush’s approval rating is now at 34%.. and Cheney’s is at an impressive 18%! 30 percent approve of the way Bush is handling the Iraq war. Hey, you two enjoying your “mandate”? How’s that goin’ for ya? Eat it.

Iraqi officials think Jill Carroll is still alive. Hey, how the hell do you know that? The story says that Interior Minister Bayan Jabr knows her captors names and address… which leaves everyone wondering why no one has rescued her already. Come on… if you promise Chuck Norris another movie deal, I’m sure he can get the guys from Delta Force to go in there.

Alright, this may be one of the weirdest things I’ve ever read. A Turkish family is supposedly suffering from a genetic defect that has left them walking on all fours, unaware of space and time, and with essentially the same intellect as our ancestors. There is a video, too… but not a very convincing one. Comment #5 on the linked page is hilarious - he “debunks” the theory by saying that if they’re wearing shoes on their feet, then they should obviously be wearing hand-shoes as well. You win, buddy… it’s officially a hoax.

Does the Cleveland Police Department’s logo contain an image of a pig? You tell me. (Yes.)

Here’s some wicked breakdancing by some Koreans. Hey nicodemia… am I crazy or has our fabricated fashion trend of wearing ties on your belt caught on with one of those dancers? His first appearance is at about 1:40 in the movie.

It’s been a busy weekend, planning/promoting the last show, but I took the time to watch a series of tutorial videos on Quark Express. Why I never used this program before, I don’t know. It’s quite amazing.

Unfortunately, while my back was turned, Don Knotts passed away. I don’t need to tell you what characters he’s known for… he’s freakin’ Don Knotts! RIP Don.

The situation in Baghdad doesn’t appear to be improving, as noted by Riverbend. In fact, it sounds like things have only gotten worse. She’s now wondering if she’ll look back on this time as the beginning of an Iraq civil war.

The deadline for a response to the Jill Carroll kidnappers has passed. There is still no word on her status.

Apparently, Bush had a bicycle accident in London that was covered up until now. It happened back in July, and involved a wet road and him waving at a group of police officers. I guess I find this amusing because I’ve always thought of Bush as a total klutz, but the only prior evidence came in the form of a spill off his Segway. Oh, and the whole pretzel incident.

Speaking of our senseless leader, he’s not exactly welcome in India. There a committee has been formed just to prevent him from visiting! A rather sizable protest is planned in the near future.

Citgo, a Venezuelan-owned company, is now being targeted by our government because of their program that aims to help poor Americans afford to stay warm this winter. I first heard about the program from nicodemia, and of course I began to frequent Citgo stations when I could. However, I should have known that our ultra-capitalist government wouldn’t such let good deeds go unpunished. After all, they can’t have their newfound enemy Hugo Chavez looking like a nice guy, can they?

Want a lovely bouquet of carniverous plants? Me too, but they’re sold out right now.

Here’s a pretty long list of celebrities that were once homeless. Not all of these folks are super-famous, but some are.

Can you identify all these cuts of meat? I sure as fuck can’t. (And boy does this page load slowly. I think the images are huge so you can inspect them more closely.)

In your next boring office meeting, whip out this Bullshit! playing card. Played like Bingo, you connect corporate phrases in a row, and then yell Bullshit! Could prove to be rather entertaining, but I could pick some more likely phrases than these.

Want to maximize your one trip to Pizza Hut’s salad bar? Here’s a guide that should leave you with a stack of food so high that you’ll surely be kicked out of there. Hilarious.

It may not be for a couple of weeks, but…

Got a late start today. I was up past midnight making up some promo CDs and Moon flyers to hopefully boost attendance at the last show. Speaking of which, have you told everyone you know yet? (And have I told you lately that I love you?)

If you ask me, it doesn’t get much cooler than having black and white twins. Check that out!

Everyone knows about the German cannibal who’s now being re-tried for murder instead of manslaughter. However, this AlterNet article makes a good point: “A sex cannibal gets 200 responses to his internet ad, and I can’t find a dinner date for Saturday night?” What’s the point of pondering such a paradox? I don’t know. It sure is a troubling realization when you get down to it.

Illinois’ governor was interviewed for the Daily Show, and didn’t get it. Hey, at least give the guy credit for even wondering if the interviewer was joking or not! How many instances of utter cluelessness have we all witnessed, all the while thinking… is this guy seriously not getting it? Ah well.

Have a good weekend people. I’ve got lots of stuff to finish up before the workday comes to a close.

The very first thing I heard about this morning was the mosque bombing in Samarra, Iraq. A holy Shiite shrine was bombed by two men disguised as security officers. With all the bombings and daily turmoil there, it seems to take a lot to rattle your average Iraqi. However, this particular shrine was of great importance to the Shiites. Riverbend talks more about that, as well as the frightening situation that seems to have grown from this bombing. Many reports are suggesting that this could be the event that triggers a civil war.

Here’s an AlterNet article that seems to suggest dissent is slowly becoming a punishable crime. Especially if you’re Muslim and living in the US. “Fifth columnists”, as they are called, may be rounded up and sentenced if some members of Congress had their way. Seriously, isn’t this the complete opposite of what this country was founded upon? Even back then they knew that differing opinions were the only way to keep a government evolving and relevant. This is really twisted.

Speaking of twisted, South Dakota’s senate just voted to rule abortion illegal in all cases. Yes, that includes cases of rape and sexual abuse. I’m linking to the MetaFilter thread about it, so you can see the jackass that’s championing this “cause”. Representative Hunt even proposes ditching traditional sex education classes in favor of abstinence-only propaganda. For fuck’s sake, pull your fat head out of your ass and join us in the 21st century.

Take a cruise… on a blimp? The concept drawing is pretty cool.

Scenes from Star Wars that were deleted. Wow, some of these would make great DVD extras, provided they still have the film and whatnot.

nicodemia’s favorite artist (sarcasm) was schizophrenic? You know those cat paintings you have… well, apparently that guy went nuts. Eh, maybe you already knew that… but this is an interesting piece regardless.

Baby, if you thought Brad Pitt was delicious before, then check out Chocolate Brad Pitt. Alright, seriously, can we stop wasting food and food-like items on ridiculous monstrosities that serve no purpose whatsoever? I see these contests on Food Network all the damn time, and all I think about is what a waste it is. God dammit.

Collection of horror masks. I don’t wanna run into that albino bigfoot in my kitchen at 2 am, I’ll tell ya that much.

The Nissan Commando concept car. Echanos knows better than anyone that concept cars only serve to disappoint me when the real model is released. Quit teasing me, auto industry.

The White House had prior knowledge of Cheney threat. Dammit, I just knew this was preventable.

I’m not even going to link to the story about ports being bought up, but I have devised a conspiracy theory to accompany it. Okay, so now Bush is threatening to veto efforts to block the deal from going through. Why would Bush, a supposed champion of US industry, want this deal to go through so badly? I’ll tell you why. He’s planning September 11th PART TWO, and he needs access to that many ports to sneak in the necessary WMD surplus. Further proof that the government orchestrated 9/11, right here, in your face. (This is more of a prediction of the route I envision conspiracy theorists taking.)

A list of abandoned municipal projects. Stunning.

The US Supreme Court has OK’d the use of a hallucinogenic tea for religious purposes. O Centro Espirita Beneficente Uniao de Vegetal uses the tea twice a month to connect with God. The decision is rather amazing, considering that a total lack of religious tolerance was a major component of Bush’s 2004 campaign platform, and all of these judges are his polo buddies. His administration has said that the tea is “illegal and potentially dangerous”. Or, more sensibly, “illegal, therefore, dangerous.” It’s good practice to make anything you don’t understand illegal. That way no one will ever step out of line on ya.

Here’s some fucked up shit. The meat packing industry is using carbon monoxide to keep meat looking pink and fresh, even when it’s not. Great. So now it’s a total fucking crapshoot, even if you have an eye for fresh meat. I was just getting accustomed to scanning for a brown center when the folks at the market pack up some ground beef, but I may as well just walk in blindfolded and just ask for a pound of “meat”.

Here’s some strange buildings, and here are pictures of abandoned houses painted bright orange in Detroit.

Cat piano? Twisted, but funny.

The new James Bond.

This is a sort of follow-up on the document-reclassifying bullshit. I just watched the excellently adapted film version of 1984 a few weeks ago, which i recommend to anyone with the will to sit through it. That in mind, please read this January 27 piece from the BBC’s pentagon analyst, which explains a little-known 2003 policy document called, fittingly and redneckly, the Information Operations Roadmap (pdf). This thing reads like a sci-fi nightmare, and only because one D. Rumsfeld signed off on it can we appreciate its comedic value. If you don’t have the patience to leaf through the report, do please at least check out the article. At one point, the pentagon asserts its desire for, get this:

“… maximum control of the entire electromagnetic spectrum.”

I guess teevee wins again. Nice effort, though.