So I took a couple of days off work, in hopes of using up vacation days I would otherwise lose. I’ve been getting a fair amount of stuff done, but I also took some time to play with Garageband on my mac. So far I can’t believe I could stand recording on my PC, because this is easy as hell.

In messing around with it, I came up with a slew of songs that come in well under a minute in length. I thought you folks might like to hear one.

This here’s ‘Skanky Lady’ (lyrics made up on the spot, as you will soon notice).
Click here to listen, or right-click to downlolad.

And now for some news and such.

Bush and Blair appear poised to call for a cease fire, and in fact, Bush has sent Condi back to Lebanon to try again. Since that’s all over the news, here’s Anthony Bourdain’s story of getting “retrieved” from Lebanon by the US Military.

Is the Bush administration worried about war crimes persecution?

Floyd Landis, winner of this years Tour de France, has been accused of doping. Well what the fuck. He asks to be considered innocent until proven guilty, since he’s well aware the public will make a snap judgement. I have a feeling that a lot of the riders that were kicked out this year aren’t actually guilty… so I think there’s a chance Floyd isn’t either. Also, here are some pictures of past runnings of the Tour de France.

Billy Bragg managed to get MySpace to change their terms of service. It appears they were claiming that any music uploaded to the site belonged to them, and well, that just won’t work. Thanks, Billy.

Here’s a story about Mono Lake’s recovery back to health. If you’ll recall, nicodemia and I traveled there last September.

I know that it’s still nice and mild in Oakland, but here, everyone’s feeling the heat. Here’s a list of some good indications it’s hot outside.

The Star Wars theme played on a banjo.

Amazing pilot lands F-15 with only one wing.

You know you love it.

Good mornin’, y’all. I’m afraid I’ll have to take today (and maybe tomorrow) off for blogging. It’s crunch time at work, and I’ve got a lot to take care of. Not to mention, I have all of about 2 1/2 weeks left here. If at all possible, I’ll post a few things later on.

Condi has traveled to Beirut to arrange some kind of cease fire.

If you were watching le Tour de France all this time, then you know the story of Floyd Landis, this year’s unexpected winner - also, an American. The man’s about to have a hip replacement surgery, and he just won the damn tour. Well, the most amazing thing to see was probably stage 17, where he desperately needed to make up time from a major loss the day before. He took off early, and completely whipped everyone in the climbs, winning by almost six minutes. Were it not for that amazing comeback, he couldn’t have won it all. Anyway, with all the cyclists cut out from the doping scandal, it was predicted to be a boring tour. I think these fellas proved them otherwise.

This article (pdf) attempts to show that bicycling isn’t as good for the environment as one might think. Although I just skimmed over the first part, it appears to contend that an increase in food intake would mean more energy consumed. I smell some rank bullshit.

Steely Dan writes Luke Wilson about his bro, asking about the use of ‘Dupree’ in one of his movies. Pretty weird.

More bookstore evolution in the Bay Area - for nicodemia’s industry research.

Pretty sweet art installation.

A Florida college student (what did I tell you about Florida?!!) set fire to a dorm in order “to meet women.” He planned on talking to them after the building was evacuated. “Yeah baby, you better believe I’m an arsonist. Oh this? Yeah *flexes his muscles*, that was me.”

Police Sniper - the game.

Ahh, sweet sweet Friday. The tantalizing weekend lies just beyond your ambiguous borders. May you pass quickly and guide me to the path of the binge drinker.

Like so many times before, many religious fanatics are predicting we’re on the brink of the rapture. This time it’s mostly due to the Israel-Lebanon conflict… and the way they’re talking is really kinda gross. Check out this post on BoingBoing to see what I’m talking about. It’s shit like this that makes me wish aliens would smack down in some public place and completely blow people’s minds. And it’s unfortunate that it would take something that dramatic to stop all these pointless conflicts from springing up everywhere.

Speaking of the conflict, how many countries are in favor of a cease fire? Well, the Independent released a graphic that answers the question rather dramatically.

Saddam wrote a letter to the American people to let us know we’re all responsible for the tragic events in Iraq. Thanks, dawg. We’re all really freakin’ glad our president is a Zionist, too.

At some point, everyone finds themselves lost in the city of Springfield, USA. Where was the Kwik-E-Mart again? Comic Book Guy’s shop? Well, thankfully, a map of Springfield is available.

The Jeopardy! archive is a collection of all the questions and answers from past shows. Watch reruns and dazzle your friends! Stuff your brain with otherwise useless knowledge! Write your history report with anecdotal references galore!

Rob Cockerham is collecting accounts of car accidents so that you can avoid them altogether. Hey, the guy’s fuckin’ clever.. what can I say?

SomethingAwful’s Photoshop Phriday this week: Collectibles Today! A wonderful selection of products that would probably give your grandmother a heart attack.

I thought perhaps nicodemia might want to pick up a cycling computer, and this one here is going for a measly $4.54.

Well, Bush went ahead and vetoed the stem cell funding bill. I guess no one is surprised. Here’s why it’s hypocritical and pointless - specifically because he claims to be protecting innocent life or some pious shit like that, yet embryos are already destroyed around the country for fertility purposes. Additionally, it is a great disservice to all Americans suffering from a range of diseases, such as diabetes and Alzheimer’s.

The makers of Fuji bottled water ran an ad that read “The label says Fiji because it’s not bottled in Cleveland.” Yes, the oh-so-tired attack on Cleveland’s water quality rears its ugly head again. The fact is, our water is delicious. If you want to poke fun at a city’s shitty water, try one of our suburbs. However, what I found particularly amusing about all this was that the LA-based company claims that “It’s only a joke… we had to pick some town.” Oh, you magnificent, haughty bastards. Sorry to break this to you, but not only does your shit stink… but so does your doomed, plastic city.

Meet Dennis Hwang, the artist behind Google’s altered logos.

The 2006 Biomedical Image Awards.

It’s summer, and it’s fucking hot. You’ve got a can of beer in your hand, and understandably, you want it to stay cold. You can either shotgun it - like a real man - or you might want to use a beer cozy. Is a cozy really the best solution? Find out here: How to keep beer cold.

The 25 biggest wusses in music. I’m glad Dan Fogelberg made it in.

The Big Lebowski - The Fucking Short Version. FUCK.

Unnecessary censorship. A wonderful montage, brought to you by Jimmy Kimmel.

Israeli troops have entered southern Lebanon, supposedly to search for tunnels and weapons. Most of the world’s press are reporting that the US is sitting back and allowing Israel to inflict some considerable damage, and that we’re in no hurry to propose a cease fire. Well, it isn’t our job to be the world police, but as we all know, our role in global affairs often amounts to that. It’s likely that this current conflict will continue for a few weeks.

Bush is expected to dish out his very first veto in order to halt embryonic stem cell research. George’s proud parents have baked a cake for the occasion, which is decorated with a tiny fetus wearing angel wings and a halo. How sweet. According to polls, most Americans are in favor of the initiative, but you know, Bush doesn’t care about polls.

Remember that crazy-ass motorized belt thing that was supposed to help you lose weight? There’s all kinds of black and white videos of it, cranking away at people’s midsections, accomplishing jack shit in the way of trimming pounds. Well, it seems as though there’s a modern version of this device, and Madonna is said to be reaping the results.

This is one serious domino display. And it’s all done with household items!

For those of you who were Miranda’s Moon fans, you may be pleased to know we’re in the studio getting down 5 final tracks that didn’t make it on our prior album, Weirdo. We had to hire a drummer, but he’s done a fantastic job of picking up the songs. Thus far, we’ve all but completed the drum tracks for all 5 songs. Next up are the bass and guitar tracks, which means I’ll be heading back into the studio very soon. In any case, we’re all excited to hear how it turns out.

So the Israel-Lebanon conflict continues. Hezbollah is firing rockets into Israel, and Israel is still bombing parts of Lebanon. If you’d like some historical background on this whole situation, especially the Israeli-Palestinian struggle, here’s a nice synopsis. Also, here’s a CounterPunch article that strongly criticizes Israel’s actions.

The Oil We Eat.

Bush pilot. You know, I wondered how they did that.

This article alleges that the US is bankrupt. Already. Like, $60 trillion dollars in the hole. (PDF)

Who knew Hitler was an artist? Not me. Those building paintings are surprisingly well done, too. Weird.

A company plans to offer flights to the public from Burke Lakefront Airport. The article says you could fly out of Burke 20 years ago, but I sure didn’t know that. For right now, they only fly to Detroit and Cincinnati. Oh, and Hilton Head on the weekends.

How much would it cost to book your favorite band? Check out this list and find out! Damn… I always wanted to have the Black Crowes play at my wedding reception (were I to get married), but it looks like Lisa Loeb is closer to my price range. Also, who the fuck pays K.D. Lang freakin’ $100,000 for a show when you can get They Might Be Giants for like $15k? The injustice of it all!!!

What Jeff Killed - a site devoted to the many things that Jeff, the giant orange cat, has killed.

Cockeyed.com finds out How Much Is Inside Spaghetti?

Want a Rogue acoustic guitar for $15?

Performancebike.com has a huge clearance sale going on, if you’re lookin’ for something along those lines.