Took the day off work today to receive my packages from back home. Thanks, Danny. Sadly, some brave soliders lost their lives in the journey. Casualties included my WRUW pint glass, my precious La Chouffe glass, the two fancy Chinese plates I had, and my favorite green bowl. May their souls rest in peace. (And may UPS be a little more gentle next time.)

Boghoggler passed along this wonderful article about Carl Monday’s daughter getting a DUI. I’d like to buy the author a beer for noting that Jerkass Monday recently did a series on repeat DUI offenders. Bravo.

No sex until you’re 30. Government orders. Yes folks, the oh-so-successful abstinence-only program championed by the Bush administration just got dumber. Not just dumber, but forehead-smackingly dumber. How could anyone possibly think this will work?

Penguin Publishing is selling books with blank covers so you can make them as cool as you want. Nifty.

The World According to Ronald Regan.

I haven’t tested this software yet, but Furnish will allow you to lay out your furniture virtually, before throwing out your back in real life.

Ren & Stimpy production music. I always loved the quirky songs on that show.

Photos by Adam Orzechowski. And they’re cool.

The Most Insignificant Moments in Gaming, brought to you by the SomethingAwful goons. Some of these are really hilarious!

A renowned voodoo practicioner has put a curse on GW Bush. So far, it seems to be working! Unfortunately, he’s still the leader of our country… so let’s hope the curse only effects him.

The president of Kazakhstan thinks Borat is funny. Actually, that should read more like: the president of Kazakhstan thinks Borat is probably funny. I’m not so sure he understands the full breadth of the “claims” Borat has been making. Still, he says any publicity is good publicity, and I suppose that’s true.

Some recently-uncovered facts about women:
They talk three times as much as men.
They shop for 8 years of their lives.
Also, they probably think I’m a pig for making this post. Film at 11.

A blind teen uses echolocation to get around… and he’s damn good at it!

Everyone remembers the game Asteroids. Well, now’s your chance to play as the asteroid, and get some serious retribution for all of your slain bretheren!

This video needs no more of a description than “Ship vs. Bridge”.
Bridge wins.

Cool post-it animation video.

Ski-gliding down a ridiculously rocky mountain. If you were to break down the time spent skiing versus time spent gliding, it’d be about 10% skiing, 90% gliding. Why? It sorta looks like he went the wrong way at one point. Still, a very ballsy run nevertheless.

This just in… peace is now illegal in a Denver subdivision.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

This is beautiful. I’m in bed, and it’s 10:30am. Pure laziness.

Perhaps this is why nothing I have today is newsworthy… again. Sometimes that shit just ain’t interesting.

I’ll tell you what IS interesting though: locusts. Specifically, a cicada moulting.

The smooth jazz my upstairs neighbor is listening to is NOT interesting.

This Russian federal highway (of mud) is interesting.

If the world wide web were a city.

Another addition to my favorite category of website: those that deliver exactly what they say… Will It Blend? The answer in this particular case is a resounding YES.

Do you have an ear for music? Test to see if you’re tone deaf or not. This test takes about 6 minutes, but is at least a little bit captivating. I tested at 91.7%, missing 3 of 36, which was a mildly settling outcome, considering I claim to be a musician. (Only when I’m picking up babes.)

I’m not sure what I posted about the legendary Brian Atene before, but his video audition for Stanely Kubrick’s Full Metal Jacket was all over the web recently, and there was even a follow-up video of a guy pretending to be the modern-day Atene. Well, this time, the real deal, in-the-flesh Brian Atene has posted a video on YouTube. Despite the rather tedious first two minutes of the video, he seems to be a genuinely funny guy. I wouldn’t mind seeing him cast in some major films, if anyone in Hollywood has the balls to hire outside the box. (Which I’m sure they don’t.)

Soap in a microwave: a pillowy zen experience.

I’ll try to keep these kinds of posts to a minimum, but I know a few members of my reading audience are LOST watchers. How I too became a fan is about as mysterious as the show itself, considering I still don’t have a TV. Nevertheless, I’m all caught up now, and awaiting the February return of the series. This also means that I needn’t be afraid of LOST content on the web… but if any of you are not caught up, don’t click this first link, because spoilers abound:

The top 50 LOST loose ends. At first I thought 50 was a lot, but I’ll be damned if I wasn’t wondering about at least 30 of these.

And for those of you who are having difficulty understanding LOST, fear not. A product has been designed just for you.

I’ve done it again - gone and found absolutely nothing newsworthy for y’all.

Bangkok Street Dogs: the stories behind the mutts.

This is a clever idea: a urinal that raises up from the sidewalk at night so drunks can have a place to piss. Personally, bushes have always worked for me in that situation, but hey… to each his own.

The 5 Most Obviously Drug-Fueled TV Appearances Ever. The title could be a slight exaggeration, but it’s still fun for the whole family.

A fallout shelter handbook from 1962. Pretty neat.

Finally, an article about hating Paris Hilton. I just want to sit patiently and listen to this guy spout out volumes about why it’s acceptable to detest her, nodding and appearing to fully comprehend his argument, and then calmly say “You just hate her because you’ll never have her,” and watch his head explode. I’ll tell you what’s disgusting, buddy, is that you spent so much time writing this article.

Oh, here’s a good deal on a wireless router… I’m probably going to order it later on, so I’m really just saving the link for then.

Well, I can’t seem to locate the video, but Michael Richards apparently did apologize as Echanos mentioned in his comment. I certainly don’t know where he was going with all that… the whole “50 years ago there’d have been a fork up your ass” or whatever it was. I think he’s one of the funniest physical comics alive, but sadly there isn’t much going on for him now anyway.

The OJ Simpson book and movie about how he did it, er… IF he did it… have been cancelled. Wise move, even though you can’t be tried twice, you murderous jagoff.

Dude puts up not-so-famous art in very famous places.

The bacon wallet - a constant reminder of the most delicious food on the planet, the best-tasting animal, and a great reason not to become a vegetarian. Or, just a wallet.

The Hyperactive Machine. Pretty clever idea… even better hairdo. You should really try this out.

Alright, so the Browns let their solid lead slip away… and it all ended on a long, long pass that bobbled on some fingertips in the end zone. I’m not crying… we still have another shot at the Steelers.

Let’s talk about science.

Predictions for the next 50 years, courtesy of a bunch of scientists.

I have been watching a lot of BBC crap on Google Video (since I have no TV), and I came across this interesting documentary on time travel: The World’s First Time Machine.

Here’s the brains behind the operation: Ronald Mallett.

Somewhat “sciency” is the news that silicon implants will once again be legal. Weird. Who’s going to get them? Also, why does it look like there’s a visible ’seam’ on all of these things?

I really don’t know what to make of this: Michael “Kramer” Richards goes on a racial tirade. It’s unclear wether or not he was even joking, let alone what point he was trying to make. Here’s the video, for reference.

As of yesterday, I am the proud owner of an Ikea bed. This guy, to be precise. Having never been to an Ikea before, I must admit there were some dazzlingly low prices on certain items. The one thing that pissed me off was the “path” you took to get to the checkout. It felt like I was being corralled into a museum’s gift shop.

Regardless, this bed is like a freaking cloud, after having spent the past two months couch surfing, and then on camping bed rolls. I even splurged on some sheets with a pathetically-low thread count! In the right light, you can read through these babies. I don’t play.

In about an hour, the Browns are taking on the Steelers, and I’m stoked because we may actually win this one! What’s crazy is that we have to play them AGAIN in a few weeks. I can only hope we possess the strength to hand them their asses twice in one season.

NASA is seriously considering the option of landing a man on an asteroid to divert it away from earth. I’ll admit, the headline enticed me to believe they’d send some schmo like myself up there. Alas, they’re probably looking for a candidate who has completed algebra at some point.

What’s the most common birthday? You’ll have to click for this one.

Surely you’ve seen pictures of Prince Charles sporting a plethora of medals; beaming as though he were the greatest of war heros. But how did he obtain those? The BBC tells you what they’re for, but I can sum it up: NOTHING.

Since we were just messing around with blue painter’s tape at the new Book Zoo, I figured this was all too appropriate: dudes cover their friend’s Audi in blue tape. The adventure does not stop there… oh no.

And on the car front as well, Japanese gangsters make every American “gangsta” ride look pathetic. Seriously… when there are folks tweaking their cars out at this level, what makes you think slapping some plastic Wal Mart spinners on your Dodge Omni is even remotely cool? (Shhh… I’m trying to entice some thugs into doing this in America.)

I love the camerawork in this video… Russian partnerless dancer. He’s without a companion for good reason, and the generous cameraman thoroughly documents that reason.

Everyone’s talking about the release of the Playstation 3, which is officially on sale as of midnight last night. Lots of people camped out overnight, even two nights in a row, just to get one. One man, running in a crowd to get a spot in line, plowed into a flagpole and dislocated his jaw. Here is that man.

The first-ever Muslim congressman is asked to “prove to me that you are not working for our enemies.” I will say that the reporter attempted to express these questions are not his own, but it sure as hell sounded like it!

Al Jazeera starts an Internet-only English channel. Check out the first few minutes.

This is a really great amateur piece on an Atlanta legend: Bicycle shorts guy… aka Willy Terry.

This one’s for nicodemia: Babes With Books.