Excellent video footage of the Vanilla Fudge, covering the Supremes in their inimitable fashion.

At least three members of Ween, painted white, copulating with their instruments to ‘Buckingham Green.’ Excellent footage of Glen McClelland.

Howdy y’all. I’m still working out how I’ll start r3tr0 v2.0, because it seems like Blogger will eventually force me to use the “upgraded” version of r3tr0. I’m looking at blogging software like WordPress and Moveable Type, which could possibly run the blog on its own. That means I’d need my own server, which I’m not too pleased about. If I can figure out a way to complete the upgrade to the new blogger, then I guess I’ll keep using this system. Either way, at least I have a way of posting in the meantime.

Here’s a rather timely article about bans on things… foie gras, smoking, and of course, trans fats. Given how recently Ohio’s new prohibition took effect, this issue is definitely on my mind.

Speaking of Bans, the new UN Chief, Ban Ki-Moon, was sworn in and will assume his post on January 1st. A South Korean, he will become the first asian to serve as Chief thus far.

Dennis Kucinich is going to run for President again! Now that’s a dude worth capitalizing the word President for.

Dick Cheney’s Google searches.

Keeping up the holiday spirit, I present PimpMySnowman - where you can make some truly pimped-out Frostys.

A 12-year-old boy was arrested for opening his present and playing with it before Christmas. The Mom was so pissed she says she no longer wants custody of him. ‘Tis the season, people.

Here are 10 bible verses you will never hear about in a sermon!

Some British pranksters painted a giant penis on their school roof - so big you can see it from space! Hence, it’s visible on Google Earth. Have a look.

Google came out with Google Patents, which allows you to look at all kinds of cool drawings and shit. I suppose it could be of research value as well.

What happens to your body if you drink a Coke right now. As scary as this is, I really want some cherry Coke! Come on, with the cherries, it has to be better for me!

Take a tour of the Nong Shim factory, where fine, high-end ramen noodles are made. (Those of you who’ve had the hot & spicy flavor know what I’m talking about.)

A Bob Ross painting video game has been proposed! Oh man, that’s awesome.

This video is the stuff nightmares are made of. Two minutes and twenty-four seconds of the most strung-out bass player in the history of the world. (It’s some black and white footage of a giant marimba band.)

Greetings.

You can thank Blogger for this truly fucked up situation, but somehow I managed to hold on to my archives and fix the issue at hand. From now on, set your bookmarks to r3tr0.net - because I will ensure that it’s directed to the proper page.

I shall return… with r3tr0 v2.0!

Ok, so NASA didn’t find aliens on Mars. However, they are once again claiming that water was once present on the red planet. I already believed that, but I guess scientists are more demanding? Some still say the ‘tracks’ are from liquid CO2. I say, “Have you been there, jerkface? Didn’t think so.”

E. Coli outbreak at Taco Bell! This especially goes for those of you back east… don’t eat the green onions! I actually saw this reported earlier this week, but in my sleepy state, didn’t think to post it. There may be some unforseen drunken evening where I decide my pledge must be broken, but I’m currently off Taco Bell for life. After eating mostly vegetarian food for over a month, I was craving the Bell one night, and eventually went for it. Sure, it filled my belly, and it tasted pretty good… but I felt like I had been dipped in a fat of chemicals… contaminated. Nothing that makes you feel so shitty afterward can possibly be beneficial.

Speaking of fast food, a McDonald’s in the UK is closing down because so few people eat there! I never would have thought it could happen… but in this small town, everyone eats well, including the kids at school. That’s just fantastic.

This table shows you what you’re actually craving when you want junk food, and gives you healthier alternatives to what you thought you wanted. Coolness.

Damn… why didn’t this happen when I went to the Outer Banks? Yeah, after I just got done yammering about junk food.

Hand-drawn film posters from Ghana. Wow, these are really awesome. Also, notice that they call Sly Stallone “Rambo”. That’s right, isn’t it?

A chatroom in real life. This dark, but realistic short film shows what it might be like to hang out in an internet chat, in real life. There’s some funny parts, too. And I think that one guy is from Office Space.

Iraq situation is “grave” - time to wake up, panel recommends. Well, it’s about time. Now, if we can just get Bush to stop pretending everything’s alright.

NASA has made a “significant find” on the surface of Mars. They plan to hold a press conference today to make the annoncement. And I plan to cross my fingers and hope it’s aliens. Come onnnnn aliens. (I think it’s water.)

If you’re having difficulty maintaining a high level of Christmas Spirit, then I suggest you take a listen to this stirring rendition of O Holy Night. Seriously, everyone must listen to this. It was allegedly created as a serious audition tape for a choir, but is almost intolerable. The best part is, it gets worse as it goes on. Echanos, try to keep it under wraps, but I think we should play this on Christmas morning.

Someone (a nerd of unfathomable proportions) made this map of the Star Trek universe. Oh, I’m sorry, it’s called The United Federation of Planets. Wouldn’t want to offend His Dorkiness.

I did not seek out this next topic, it just happened to have made the news this morning: farts.

Flatulence leads US jet to divert. Now, tell me, when you read this headline, do you not assume that someone had such insufferable gas that they had no choice but to land somewhere? Sadly, it was merely because a woman struck a match to cover her farts. Don’t play me like that, BBC.

I can all but promise you’ll wrinkle your nose when watching this: a fart captured on infared. Sheesh… part of me hopes this video turns out to be a fake! That’s fuckin’ nasty!

What’s happenin’, dudesters? I’ve gathered two days worth of blogging materials, but before I get going on that, I think everyone needs to have a look at what Boghoggler uncovered, again, related to Carl Monday. Click here.

Alright, with that out of the way… check this shit out.

Here’s a guy who managed to tune a long line of (wine?) bottles so that, as he rides past them on his special rollerblades, it plays a song. Incredible.

If that doesn’t impress you, perhaps the paper art of Laura Cooperman will.

Or, perhaps crayon carving is your thing.

I don’t think you could fail a DUI test more severely than this. That’s just bloody shameful.

Personally, I can’t get enough of the Geico cavemen commercials. I never fail to laugh when the one dude orders “roast duck with the mango salsa”. So, here are all the Geico cavemen commercials thus far, for your viewing pleasure.

Ants. Diggin’ their tunnels, in time-lapse video.

This is a really interesting gallery of photos: What families eat, around the world, in one week.

Would you pass the wallet test?

Not that anyone cares anymore… but here’s the inside of the Unabomber’s cabin.

Hey, why not use giant sails like kites to pull along cargo ships? The makers of SkySails aim to do just that.

Never go to dinner at this woman’s house. She chopped up her boyfriend and served him at a party! Fucked up!

A homeless man in Portland made himself a ‘Bike RV’, complete with an enclosed bed to stay warm. Nice, man!

Scared of Santa Gallery. Nothing puts me in the Christmas spirit faster than seeing a kid bawling on Santa’s lap. I’m pretty sure I cried at least once whilst in the company of old Saint Nick.