Why, oh why are people talking about attacking Iran? I think the administration’s tactic is to just keep repeating “all options are on the table” in an attempt to frighten them. Still, if you hear Cheney saying that with his patented smirk, people think he’s not messing around. In any case, there are some US generals that say they will quit if Bush actually declares war on Iran. It’s comforting to know that some of our top brass aren’t batshit insane.

Did anyone remember that Jack Black was in a commercial for Pitfall? As in, Atari 2600 / Intellivision Pitfall? I’m pretty sure I remember seeing that commercial, but never did I make the connection! Hilarious.

Here’s an interesting rendition of Bolero, played by several guys all on the same cello. It starts off strong, but they get a little avant garde towards the end.

When you want to give the gift of disease without all the hassle of petri dishes, you can always turn to GiantMicrobes.com for the plush version of your favorite illness.

Placing someone’s accent can be tricky, but if you spend the next 5 years or so memorizing the content on this page, you’ll definitely become an expert.

Wow. Three men ran across the sahara, averaging about 2 marathons worth of miles each day, for 111 days. That’s 4,000 miles of blistering heat… running.

If you haven’t heard, Britney shaved her head. Why? You know, I am not sure. Perhaps the fact that she’s now selling it online for $1 million should give me an indication. What a freak! I think she’s on either boom, pow, or crank. Maybe ice.

Speaking of hard drugs… you must be on something to order this monstrosity, from In N Out Burger. Truth be told, you CAN order as many patties as you’d like. Still, this burger is enough to feed like 7 African villages, and that’s just fucked up.

A bicycle race in France (not the Tour) acquired a very unexpected participant. Classic.

BWIII reminded me of this cool page, which shows what a Portugese man found in a barn on some property he purchased: a classic car collection! I saw this over the weekend and then lost the link and forgot about it. Thanks BWIII! (By the way, how’s the Shiva ordeal?)

Tim Hardaway, a basketball star known for his cock-stunting last name, is also an admitted homophobe. George Takei of Star Trek fame decided to respond to this recent revelation. Awesome.

Make your own little portrait graphic thingy! I don’t know how to describe this, but it’s fun. Try to make yourself! Try to make your friends! Try to make… George Takei!

Just because I’m thoroughly enjoying my Mac right now: The Most Annoying Things About Windows Vista. I really hope I never even have to log in to a Vista machine.

Happy President’s Day everyone. Oh joy, oh joy… the best of all holidays. Wait, no, I still have to go to work. This sucks.

I’ve been watching a lot of BBC’s Top Gear lately, which - Echanos - if you haven’t checked out, is awesome. Accordingly, I’ve noted a bit of the Queen’s English and found it rather strange. The boot and bonnet, for starters. So, here’s a guide to some British English words we’re not likely to hear stateside.

Geez, the rest of these links are so far from newsworthy, I don’t know what order to put them in.

Scrotal artwork. Yeah, that should go first.

The world’s strangest dinosaur names. If I discovered a dinosaur species, I’d name it after Data from Goonies. Or, maybe some well-known champion of creationism.

I think a certain lady of a certain household will appreciate this: The disease of design. Talks about noticing typography, layout, color, etc. where ever you go. However, this lady I speak of happens to be somewhere in Yosemite, and may not see this for a bit.

The painted Russian city. These are some incredibly large murals!

The top 8 weirdest people. I’ve seen something like this on TV, and dammit, they forgot that tiger guy who implanted whiskers in his face and shit. DUH.

The past few days I have been in a constant cloud of smoke from fireworks, coming from all directions, in honor of Chinese New Year. I’m not kidding. They’re going off right now, and have been since I woke up an hour ago. It’s 9am! That said, I really don’t mind the sound… I just have to adjust the volume on my stereo a lot.

Our top story today: don’t eat Peter Pan peanut butter. There’s salmonella in them thar tubs! I think the only r3tr0 reader that would even contemplate the purchase of Peter Pan is DPF, who is known to indulge in a 7/11 sandwich now and again.

Speaking of DPF, this fine motorbike is very similar to the one we plan to ride while retired in Florida together.

If you don’t know what Edwards 40Hands is about, then click here to find out. Hell, even if you do, click that link because there’s some funny crap on it. Also, check out one of the first responses on the page for a nice link I believe I posted years ago.

Here’s a very intriguing animated GIF of the spread of religion. And to go along with it, two flowcharts comparing science and faith.

So, where do people say soda, and where do people say pop? And who the fuck says Coke, instead? I shouldn’t be too surprised. I’ve heard countless people say “kleenex” instead of tissue over the course of my life. I say we all just start interchanging these terms to mess up their precious data.

Now THIS is pretty awesome: kids’ drawings re-drawn by adult artists. I bet I would be totally stoked if someone had done this for me back in the day.

Are these real photos of Anna Nicole’s fridge just after she died? Probably not, but someone’’s claiming they are.

The world’s fastest bicycle clocks in at an impressive 53.43 mph, and appears rather wobbly at those speeds. I guess if you wipe out, you’ll just slide along the ground. No big deal.

Osama Teen Hunger Force dares to imagine what the terrorists would have been thinking had the recent scare in Boston been a legitimate attack.

Stuff people write on money. I wonder if Echanos’ friend is still doing the WheresGeorge.com thing… if you’ve never heard of it, everyone writes that on the bills they come across, and then you can look them up by serial number. I personally prefer it when people just diagram the hidden Illuminati symbols.

Although this article claims there’s a chance, I don’t think California will become it’s own nation-state anytime soon. However, Arnold himself was quoted as saying that the state DOES have the power of a nation-state, and I think he’s got a good point there.

Some kind ladies put together a fashion guide for nerds, so we can all live up to their standards. I already broke two rules: no facial hair, and refrain from large belt buckles. They can eat it, on both counts.

Why do we have wisdom teeth? Even I don’t know, because I have yet to read this article. I’m sure it’s fascinating.

I think I’ve saved the best for last. Brace yourself… a furniture salesman with an appetite for rap decides it’s time to rhyme his way into higher sales numbers. Best commercial ever.

So, if you’re a cop, you can ejaculate on an offending motorist and escape criminal prosecution. At least that’s the case if the motorist is a stripper? Weird as hell.

This cat LOVES being spanked, which reminds me of a rather frightening story demia and his woman told me once. I just think this video’s funny, because look what the cat does when she stops the spanking.

A member of the SomethingAwful forums gave a homeless kid a camera and told him to mail it back to him when he filled it, and the idea netted some pretty interesting and impressive images.

I don’t know if anyone will be interested in this, but here’s an article on wireless net neutrality, which promotes consumer rights in the growing wireless realm.

I thought maybe BWIII, who’s into ties, might enjoy these ties, which are made up of patterns from disease-causing microbes. Oh, this tie? Yeah, that’s mad cow disease.

If you’re looking for Mr T. memorabilia, then I think you’ve just hit the jackpot. B.A. slippers? Check.

Strange statues of the world, including one that Echanos posted on someone’s MySpace page… and many, many others.

I didn’t watch these yet, but here’s 20 cool animations for you to watch. Seems cool enough.

I think this video is real… can’t confirm or deny, but it’s outrageous: When coworkers attack. (It appears the video starts playing automatically, so be prepared.)

Look at this giant ship that carries oil rigs out to be deployed! Outrageous.

I’ll be damned if you’ve never fantasized about masturbating in one of those glass-enclosed ski gondolas. What? You never have?! Get outta here. Well, I guess it’s for the better anyway, because that’ll get you arrested for sure.

Ahhh, the golden days of soda. I could go for a Coke II about right now.