Alright peeps. I’m going to Thailand for 2 weeks, and I leave tonight! So, if you notice an utter lack of blogging during that time, you now know why. I will be stopping in Internet cafes from time to time, so there’s a chance I’ll put something up here. And now, your regularly scheduled programming.

Paternity tests have determined who the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby daughter is. Turns out it was Mr. Mustard, in the library, with the wrench. I totally didn’t see that coming!

Is Microsoft really dead? The author of this article sure as hell thinks so. I’m not entirely sold, but they certainly seem to be well behind the curve… and more significantly, I think they’re holding technological progress back a bit.

A comprehensive list of free online tv documentaries. For those of us without television sets.

Who doesn’t love vintage concept cars? One of my favorite cars ever is on this page… the Phantom Corsair.

If you’re a REAL man who goes around kicking people in the face, you know how difficult it can be to find a pair of jeans with enough stretch to facilitate a killer sidekick. Not anymore, baby. Chuck Norris Action Jeans to the rescue! Man, I even thought these were hilarious when I was a kid.

The fate of all humanity is at stake… on this foosball table. Weird.

Wow, a snowed-out Indians game?! I guess they’re moving the game to Milwaukee, since they have an enclosed field. Let’s not forget that last year, in late April, the very first Smitty Tour event was snowed out also! I have to say, i’m having a hard time missing that when it’s 65 and sunny here.

Each year they have an easter egg roll on the White House lawn, but this year, an unexpected visit from Deadeye Dick Cheney put a damper on things.

What can you do with a ton of post it notes? Well, one option is to make a 4 story rendering of Donkey Kong on your building’s windows.

IKEA has some nice products… I even have one of their beds. But how would you feel about living in Ikeatown? I think I’ll stick it out in my 19th century victorian, thanks.

If you know someone with one of those little squirt nozzles mounted on their sink, then this is a great prank to get them all wet. In this particular instance, however, the prankster was dealt some major league instant karma.

Remember the story about the guy who was going to attempt to swim the length of the Amazon River? Yeah, well, he made it! Unbelievable. At least he had a wetsuit to keep the urethra fish outta there. If he could only see the hideous fish he swam past!

I’m not exactly complaining, but the reasons why we can’t talk on our cell phones during flights are really centered around saving money, and not because of known interference issues, as they tell you on the plane. I can only imagine the lengthy and annoying phone calls that would be taking place all over the place, so the ban isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Still, at least admit why it’s in place!

Did NASA accidentally nuke Jupiter? I doubt it, but this article proposes that it could be true. Weird.

Damn, I knew Led Zeppelin ‘borrowed’ some of their hits from old classics, but take a look at this list of their well-known cover songs. Pretty lengthy, isn’t it? I guess I should have known When The Levee Breaks was a cover, but alas, I did not.

Back to the Critical Mass post from yesterday - the bicyclist witnesses claimed the woman driving the minivan accelerated right into the bikers, knocked one down, and attempted to flee the scene. Here’s the article the Chronicle put up today. If that IS what happened, I can only imagine the reaction was swift and furious. That said, it doesn’t excuse any of the cyclists from engaging in conversation with the woman to explain what’s going on. I’ve only been on a few CM rides, and yet I’ve explained to at least 3 motorists just “what in the hell is going on”. If anything positive ever comes from Critical Mass in the future, it’ll be when the assholes that are out for blood all get flat tires and stay home. A few thousand bicycles running the show is enough to say “hey people, don’t forget bikers are everywhere, and we’re traffic, too.”

Cheney in bushes, spying on shrubs. Honestly, what the fuck is he doing over there? What a freak.

Apparently 7-11 is thinking about making their stores into genuine Kwik-E-Marts for the release of the Simpsons’ movie this summer. Does that mean I’ll find Hank Azaria behind the counter? Or maybe a guy in an Apu mask… I don’t know.

Thailand has banned YouTube, because a video on the site insulted their king. Man, you REALLY don’t mess with their king. EVER.

The fine goons of SomethingAwful.com have been photoshopping the hell out of Hillary Clinton, after a rather odd picture of her turned up. Wow… some of these are just vicious.

If anyone’s interested, here’s a live video of Proximity Butterfly, Joshua Love’s band in China.

It appears a few people couldn’t place the three gentlemen above… for those of you still curious, it’s the cast of Leave It To Beaver! Eddie Haskell, the Beav, and Wally. Kind of a shock to see them all in the present.

Ancient human unearthed in China. ANCIENT HUMAN UNEARTHED IN CHINA. Okay, not really major news, but let’s pretend. The interesting element here is that, because of the location and the age of the remains, it raises questions about interbreeding between homo sapeins and pre-human species.

So, you’re a nudist. Not just a nudist, but a somewhat cowardly nudist. What can you do? Where can you turn? Fear not, for they have invented NudeSuits. And lo, they are ridiculous.

Alphabets made out of:
Army action figures
Packaged ground beef

A hip-hop / r&b group, Naturally Seven, performed on the New York Subway with no instruments, and it was pretty cool. EXCEPT, and this is a big except, they chose to do a remake of In The Air Tonight, which completely blows. Still, some impressive shit for a crowded subway. I like the guy with the P-Diddy glasses.

Ukranian graffiti is really quite awesome. I have a feeling a lot of these came from one (very talented) artist.

To-scale chart of all bodies in the solar system over 200 miles in diameter. Very cool.

What’s the coolest car to come out of the 80’s? Why, KITT, of course. And now, for only $150,000 you can own a piece of television history. I think the first comment on this post makes a very good point.

Bush’s speech writer.