Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. Let’s start with the bad news.

In violation of Federal Law, Ohio’s 2004 Presidential Election results are destroyed or missing. So yeah, the Bush cartel managed to successfully cover their tracks after stealing their SECOND election in a row. I’m guessing this doesn’t come as a surprise to most of my readers.

Who likes bad news anyway? The good news is, Futurama is indeed making a comeback. Rather than return to an episode-per-week format, they’re going to make four DVDs that will be broken into 4 episodes a piece… and all of them will air on Comedy Central. I am feeling soooo Bender-deprived… this is going to be fantastic.

I guess this is good news too, if you grew up in the 80’s and have far too much money on your hands: Hypercolor tiles for your shower. Well, heat-sensitive, color-changing tiles, to be precise.

The reality of fast food. I may have posted this a long time ago, but it’s still funny, and still very true.

10 things I hate about Star Trek is a very good rant, if you ask me. In particular, I love #6… No Fuses. It is so true that every time something happens, the entire fucking bridge erupts in a shower of sparks, if not fire. How have they cured nearly all diseases, forged interplanetary peace, created artificial gravity AND made the holodeck, yet failed to pin down what’s causing the bridge to blow up all the time?

I’m pretty sure that DPF’s dreams just came true: DeLorean to start building cars again! Granted, they expect to start out at a pace of about 20 cars per year. I wonder if they’ll make a bad ass version with a V8 or something.

There’s still nothing cooler than bike power, though. Such as this bike-powered blimp, The White Dwarf. Man, that just has to be fun.

Also fun:
Gigantic Nintendo controller
Cooking with Christopher Walken

Apparently, some fall TV shows have already been leaked to the internet. All I have to say is, talk to me when LOST episodes get leaked.

I’m pretty sure this has been on every one of the blogs I visit: Jumping Spider mating dance. It IS insane, so that’s probably why. (How did they get the sound so loud??)

Oh… one more thing. Get your buns over to Cockeyed.com and check out The Light Sharpener. This has been going on for some time now, but basically he has covered a giant old satellite dish with mirrors, and is now testing its strength with the likes of hot dogs and plastic army men. I recommend starting from page one of the story to get the full appreciation.

I’ve found a couple of reasonably interesting links, but it’s been so long since I posted ANY pictures on here, I thought I may as well. Just a couple weeks ago I picked up a new cell phone with a pretty good camera in it, and here are the results so far.

This here is documentation of my very first viewing of Caddyshack. Yes, I’ve golfed all my life and never sat through the whole thing. I must say, it was great.

Demia discovers the secret bed in the bookstore.

My old bike, just before retirement. (New bike photos coming soon)

Nathan has never been this dirty… but then again, he’s never been parked for such long stretches of time. I guess this happens if you commute by bicycle every day. However, immediately after this picture was taken, he got a thorough washing.

This is the only picture I snapped at the Chili Cook-off. Things were still going pretty strong, but the judging was over and we were all relaxing.

This here’s an artsy shot taken outside the shed I’ve been jamming in lately. (That shiny thing is a kick drum head)

Airport officials across the country have been warned about terrorists doing ‘dry runs’ of their plots. Discoveries of fake, yet suspicious items have led Homeland Security to the conclusion that our airports are being tested, possibly for weak points. One of the items was block cheese, which vaguely resembles C4 or clay explosives. So yeah, if you go to Wisconsin, bring back wedges, not blocks.

The US zip code scribble map. It sure looks cool, but that’s about all it does.

THIS map, on the other hand, shows some important data… the obesity rates of Americans from 1985 to the present. In 1991, more than half the country was in the 10-14% range, and now there isn’t a single state with less than a 15% obesity rate. Many are up over 25%.

A gallery of shipping container accidents. It’s like a giant was playing with toy blocks, and lost his temper.

The geese around Lake Merritt drop around one ton of poop every week. That figure didn’t even raise my eyebrow, given the sheer amount of geese hanging out there… especially around the northeast tip, on Lakeshore. However, city officials are planning to do something about it. They’re taking a test drive on a vehicle designed especially for scooping up goose shit… an actual goose poop zamboni. Another option is to hire dogs to herd them into the lake and away from the grass. The final option dealt with coyotes, which I found hilarious. There’s probably 1/5 of an acre of “wooded” land around the lake for them to hide out in… and when they did come out, they could also feast on lap dogs, children, and a slew of other creatures. Great idea.

I can’t even believe this. Lindsay Lohan, fresh out of rehab, turned herself in to police for a prior drunk driving offense. Now, five days later, she is arrested for driving drunk, and possibly possession of cocaine. Boy, that rehab sure did the trick! The icing on the cake is that she has a movie coming out this Friday. Well, if anyone was trying to prove she ISN’T a train wreck, good luck.

Just thought you’d all like to know that Dick Cheney is the president right now. AHHHHH!!! Okay, don’t panic. Bush is in for a colonoscopy and probably “just wanted to make sure.” Still, what if he starts calling shots? Why, by the time George returns, we could be at war with Iran AND North Korea.

This morning at about 4:40am we had a nice little earthquake. It weighed in at 4.2, which was plenty big enough to wake me up out of a crazy dream, and cause my cat to launch himself into the air. A couple minutes later, we lost power, and a couple minutes after that, I fell back asleep. Perhaps just because the center of the quake was near my house, this was definitely the strongest quake I’ve felt since moving out here. USGS report.
On the topic of this here bay, here’s some photos from the top of the Bay Bridge. Pretty rad.

News anchors can’t stop laughing at falling model. Actually, the bulk of their laughing sounds more like wheezing than anything, but this IS hilarious. The slow-mo really helps.

The TSA head calls the ban on lighters “security theater”, pointing out that it is absurd to confiscate them.

101 simple meals ready in 10 minutes, courtesy of the New York Times. Hey, thanks guys.

It’s been a few days… a few busy days. Just so everyone knows, I’m now getting some spam comments with links to porn. I’ll try to remove them, but believe me, they’re not sites worth visiting.

Okay, so… perhaps you grow pot? Well, you’re a terrorist. At least, according to our current Drug Czar you are.

At least you can take out your frustrations on a handful of celebrities with this knife-throwing game. Try as I might, I can’t seem to avoid hitting George Bush in the nards… over and over.

The headline pretty much says it all: teen has sex with cow. I guess if there’s anything it DOESN’T say, it’s that the cow was a total slut, known for walking around in heels and garters. Hm. Makes ya think.

The hipster GPS.

Top 15 skylines in the world. I’m sorry, but… if you’re going to bother including Boston, I think Cleveland deserves a spot up there as well. If you’re out on the lake, it’s mildly impressive! Also, San Francisco should be higher up. Come on.

Great news for President Bush today.

For starters: “The Iraqi government has not yet fully met any of 18 goals for political, military and economic reform,” … but it’s OK! Bush says “I believe we should succeed in Iraq and I know we must.” Great. That seals the deal folks… victory is ours!

Oh, but wait. The government says al Qaeda is at its strongest since September 11, 2001. It appears they’ve really settled into an area of Pakistan, and business is booming. So, yeah, great news for Bush all around. Keep makin’ them smart moves, Georgie, and we just might have to amend that there Constitution… let you stay in another 8 years!

Former Surgeon General Richard H. Carmona says that the Bush administration made him “water down” reports about controversial health issues, such as “stem cells, emergency contraception, sex education, or prison, mental and global health issues.” Boy oh boy. Bush must be sitting on top of the world today!

Meanwhile, in Oakland, we’re sitting on top of some trash. They’re also noticing that the contract workers that ARE out picking up some of the trash seem to be focused on the more affluent neighborhoods. Sweeeeeeeeet. Actually, there’s a chance for some prime trash-picking… this might not be ALL bad.

Here’s a free, downloadable tribute album for Radiohead’s OK Computer.

Just in case you were wondering… here’s what a newspaper would look like with all the negative stories cut out.