Well, I hope everyone had a happy and delicious Thanksgiving. I certainly did. There’s no better way to run a Thanksgiving than via potluck, if you ask me. The more people that show up, the more food there is! I must have drank at least 8 different kinds of wine, had two kinds of cheese potatoes, at least three stuffings, and plenty of other dishes. Oh, the memories.

You know, it sure would be nice to have a president where the back-story of how he met his wife didn’t make you want to wretch. Dennis and Elizzabeth Kucinich (to me, at least) are a great match, and their story is actually semi-interesting. I’m sure George W. got set up with Laura after some Skull & Bones meeting, and they met at a Denny’s, snorted some blow, and went home to drink tequila and pass out watching TV.

10 famous product failures really takes me back. The New Coke and Crystal Pepsi make me long for the days of the Cola Wars. Man, remember when Pepsi did all those hideous cans for a little while? I think I actually drank some then. I can’t stand the shit, but my young brain was no match for their advertising might.

So, this should leave you shivering throughout the day: a fossilized scorpion was found that’s the size of a human being. Actually, it was bigger than most humans… about 8 feet long! Amazing.

Dennis Kucinich is awesome:
Kucinich: A Democrat’s Dream? (Video on ABC.com)
Kucinich rocks a grassroots Democrat poll

Deep in the Amazon, a thousand miles from the ocean, a minke whale was found. How it got there? Fucking speedboat, of course. (Actually, no one’s quite sure.)

About 90 percent of SNL’s staff was fired, due to the writer’s strike. I hope this is getting a lot of attention simply because no one can stand to watch the show anymore. Maybe if they start with a clean slate, they can find some genuinely talented writers and get back on track. Maybe.

Wanna get your ass kicked in chess? Try The Shredder. It ate me up and spat me out in about, oh, 8 moves. Then again, I suck at chess.

Hey, Happy Saturday to everyone. I’m spending (at least part of) my “holiday” at the DMV. Wish me luck.

If you’re like me, there’s only one way to sit through the Democratic debates: skip to the Dennis Kucinich parts. Thankfully, someone on YouTube did just that. At the very end, an audience member lobs a pointless question to Hillary that almost made me vomit. They didn’t need to include THAT… don’t worry… I already can’t stand that witch.

The U.N. says we’re really, really screwed when it comes to global warming. The panel that conducted the study says that “urgent, global action” is necessary to combat the problem, although some effects may already be irreversible.

High gas prices got you down? Wondering who to blame? FOX News lets you know EXACTLY who’s causing the price hike. (I’m rolling my eyes, for those of you without the r3tr0 HD video stream installed.)

Here is a map showing the world’s oil distribution. Is there even ground in Saudi Arabia, or is it just a sea of oil that people built houses on?

Lazy squirrel. Dude, get up! You’re bringing shame to your high-strung species! (Seriously, what the hell is this thing doing? Social commentary on Americans perhaps?)

The Not Daily Show with Not Jon Stewart is a clip put on by some writers on strike, including a Daily Show writer. If nothing else, I guess it gives a little perspective into their situation.

Barry Bonds is facing 30 years in prison for the crimes of perjury and obstruction of justice. I haven’t really followed this case, but the huge amount of prison time caught my attention. I guess in France, cyclists caught doping are considered guilty of fraud… that’s a pretty serious crime as well.

Speaking of serious crime, how is it that Lindsay Lohan served 84 minutes in jail for cocaine possession and numerous other offenses, and other people spend 10 or more years in prison for the same thing? It’s ALL bullshit, but some of it’s just thicker and richer than others.

A guy noticed two crack addicts getting high and screwing in his alley, so he decided to photograph it. Now, none of these pictures are safe for work… and frankly, they’re pretty gross. However, it might just be one of those “I can’t look away” sort of things for ya, so feel free. I love the last photo of the guy that seems to sense “something very wrong just happened here.”

One day in America is a collection of those figures like “on average, Americans poop 23 pounds a week” and stuff. Really though, people in New Hampshire drink an average of 40 gallons of alcohol each year, per person. I wonder why they’re #1? It’s no wonder that North Dakota and Montana are numbers 3 and 4, though. It’s the whole “what else is there to do besides get drunk?” syndrome.

Hey, Rob Cockerham of Cockeyed.com just had his second baby, and this time it’s a boy. Just like before, he’s put up a set of 10 pictures and you have to guess which one is actually his. Actually, this time there’s 11, and one of them is clearly not a human being. I voted for number 7… last time I got it right, but we’ll see!

Although these kids live in a pretty impoverished area of China, I am really jealous that their school is in a cave! Man, that is so damn cool.

Did you know stop signs were not always red? I guess if you were born before 1954, you may have known that. They used to be yellow, and before that, white.

All of the links I found to this photo set said something to the effect of world’s coolest photographer dad. I have to agree… these are really great! (The set is called Dreams of Flying.)

The manual for Guantanamo Bay operations has been leaked to the web. Sadly, it’s a slightly-outdated version, and doesn’t include the bits about raping you with dogs, shoving bamboo slivers under your fingernails, and sending nude postcards of Pat Sajak to your friends and family.

Somone here in the Bay Area is taking Comcast to court over their interference with customers’ bandwidth and web usage. I have to say, being a Comcast customer myself, I hope this gets class action status. This is some serious bullshit they’re trying to pull.

With so much smut on FOX News lately, why not just surf on over to FOXNewsPorn.com and get straight to the dirty bits?

A surfer dude has stunned the scientific community with his theory of everything. Frankly, I downloaded the actual paper itself and found it very technical and way over my head, but this is coming from a guy who is STILL flunking out of math… and I’m not even enrolled in a school right now. I just get slips of paper mailed to me periodically that say “Math: F”.

The Nanosolar Powersheet won Innovation of the Year from Popular Science, and it’s easy to see why. They’ve finally made solar power an affordable technology by making power-absorbing sheets as thin as aluminum foil which cost about a tenth of what older technology solar panels cost. Rad!

I was going to post this the other day, but there wasn’t even a picture… now there’s a video. The melody-playing road in Japan. You drive over the grooves cut in the road; it plays a song. God dammit, the Japanese are so cool. They even put up cute road signs, and marks on the road itself!

Baseball pitches illustrated shows you the flight paths of various pitches. Pretty cool.

In Dubai, some creative folks put up their own custom road signs. Watch the video… it’s funny.

On TheSneeze.com, Steve finally finds out why his dad has always drawn the same unintelligible face his whole life. Turns out he learned one crappy method 60 years ago, and stuck with it. (Readers managed to find the book he saw it in!) Hey, this may seem pretty boring to you, but I found it fascinating.

Top 10 ugliest commercial airplanes. I have to say, with the exception of Pokemon and the Disney one, these are all of the planes I think are cool! I always loved the Southwest Shamu plane, and once I even saw it at Sky Harbor in Phoenix.

Once again, Herr Bush has vetoed an education bill and signed a bill for the military. And that’s putting it lightly. The $150 billion dollar education, labor and health & human services bill was a drop in the bucket compared to the $459 billion dollar bill for the Pentagon. That’s not even including the cost of the war, which is quickly becoming incalculable due to the limits of human numbering systems. (I think we’ve surpassed a googleplex)

In scenic Parma, Ohio, a strange blue cloud has been appearing outside a gas station. This is seriously one of the strangest and most inexplicable videos I’ve ever seen! What the hell is going on here? (Oh, and I don’t wanna hear no Ohioans talking about high gas prices… that sign said $3.09, and the other day when I filled up, the cheapest I could find was $3.43.)

Way down in Glen Saint Mary, Florida, there have been some ape sightings, prompting locals to flip the fuck out. The upside is that it’s hanging out in a tree, so it must not be TOO huge. Still, when the comparison being made is to an orangutan, I’d be watchin’ my back. That thing’ll rip your arms clean off!

A group of midwestern farmers are trying to get hemp legalized again. I really like the quote from Wayne Hauge, a farmer in North Dakota: “I’m looking forward to the court battle… I don’t know why the DEA is so afraid of this.” As the article points out, hemp is grown in 30 countries across the world. I guess they’re afraid people will remember what a valuable crop it is.

FOX News shows its hypocrisy by airing a piece against smut, and simultaneously airing news stories with plenty of T&A to go around. While this may elicit a chuckle, don’t you wish the nation was talking about something that actually mattered?

50 ways to beat the reaper appears to have a lot of fluff, with a little bit of useful knowledge tossed in for good measure. For starters, you could not outrun the actual grim reaper, let alone hurdle in full pants, as the guy in the picture did. He’s simply too fast for that shit.

How to resuscitate a drowned cat. A good tip for everyone to know! Just to get the hang of it, I practiced the technique on my own, non-drowned cat.

The Economic Consequences of Mr. Bush are dramatic and very unfortunate. Is it just me, or is anyone else thinking of where else in the world it would be nice to live? This country is going into the shitter, and I don’t know if I want to be around to cope with the repercussions.

About the only sensible legislation I’ve heard of recently is the examination of the right to bear arms.
The Supreme Court plans to talk about it next week.

Some retired government and military officials are calling for Project Blue Book to be opened up. This was the Air Force’s investigation into some 12,500 UFO sightings that’s been shut down since 1969. Come on now, they’ll never do that. Then we’ll all know that Roswell was real, and aliens walk among us! It’s just like Men In Black, you see.

Fast food comparison chart. Learn which sandwiches and french fries will kill you the fastest! Well, there’s a burger at Carl’s Jr. that packs in a whopping 1,520 calories and 111 grams of fat… so if you want to die, start there.

Not to be confused with Burger King, Nigger King is a store in Taiwan that sells urban clothing. WOW. Talk about flagrant n-bombing!

After all that racism, why not watch a dog almost get struck by lightning to take your mind off things.

This is my new favorite blog: Men who look like old lesbians. Hey, Phil Spector is an old lesbian, isn’t he?

This looks funny, but I haven’t checked it out yet: 5 most unintentionally hilarious comic strips.

A prehistoric fish/shellfish turned up alive in Russia recently. Looks like a horseshoe crab, but the armor on it is very cool.

Finally, a criminal investigation into the recent oil spill here in the Bay Area has begun. About 58,000 gallons of the stuff was deployed into our Bay Receptacle last week, and so far the animals are loving it! I even saw a pelican who had evolved a combustion engine on his belly.

Speaking of crazy oil consumption, a Saudi prince has just bought his own Airbus A380, which has a base price of $320 million. I guess it’s not that shocking when you learn he already owns a 747-400, the latest in the series of Boeing double-deckers. I mean, come on, it’s just like going from a Mercedes to a Bentley.

A high school in New Jersey now has surveillance cameras fed live to the local police. The linked article puts it lightly: “Sign Of Times”… yep, that’s about right.

Coincidence? Yes… but, The Simpsons have racked up quite a body count of celebrities that have passed on since their episode aired.

Featured photos taken in Ireland. I have to say, this is the only thing I’ve posted today worth dwelling on for too long!

Jones Soda has announced this year’s holiday flavor lineup. They chose to offer a Christmas pack as well as a Hannukah pack, but that leaves me wondering… what happed to Kwanzaa? Oh well, I’m sure I’ll be pleased enough with the Christmas Ham flavor drink.

Does your shit stink? Geez, yeah… mine too! Thank goodness there’s Poof, a product that will prevent your poo from stinking up the place. You don’t ingest it, you put a little in the water, and somehow it masks the scent. Great… so why don’t these idiots just make it into those time-release cleaning tablets, and make millions? We’ll forget what shit smells like! Oh… except for on airplanes, when the lavatory door swings open right in your face.

Now you can get that rock hard six-pack you’ve been dreaming of WITHOUT SITUPS! How, you ask? Through the miracle of plastic surgery, of course! No crunches, no diets, just 100% undeserved muscle tone! (Actually, the article does say it won’t work if you’re too fat.)

Where do you fit in on his/her attractiveness scale? This reminds me a bit of the ladder theory that swept the Internets several years ago.