I woke up this morning to find that yet another 50 year old celebrity had fallen. It was time I made a tribute image.

When discussing MJ, there are plenty of postivies and plenty of negatives that are mentioned. I find the reality of his untimely death just… sad. You can read about how his financial advisors et al were basically going to prop him up on the stage in London for fifty shows - and how MJ thought it was only 10. Nevermind that he couldn’t sing anymore. So yes, that is sad. However, I prefer to remember that one of his childhood albums was the very first album I had. I can’t find the cover (it was probably a compilation) but I used to play it on a Fisher Price record player all the damn time. And later, we all watched the Grammys when he did the moonwalk and we nearly shat ourselves.

No matter what your take on The King of Pop is, we all have to settle in for what will probably be the longest “mouring period” of a celebrity to date. This brilliant comic perfectly illustrates the media’s reaction in times like these, and it’s not just in the moment — I have a feeling this is going to be months long. RIP, Jacko.

P.S. I hope your bloodsucking handlers are willing to part ways with the rights to all of those Beatles songs now.

Yep, this is pretty much the worst blog ever. I should change the name to “Hey, no promises, pal.” What can I say? I’m a busy man.

So, you might expect this out-of-the-blue post to contain something monumentally awesome. Well, I hope these two items do not disappoint, then:

Llama Rugby

MS Paint Porn - Yeah, it’s exactly what it proclaims. (Not work safe)

Let me just say: Texas, go right ahead. Nobody likes you anyway. I hope Mexico invades you a week later.

Oh, you should really watch this. Hastily-made Cleveland Tourism Video. Some very sad truths.

Although I’m sure most people won’t notice or care, Dennis Kucinich was paying attention when Hersh mentioned the Cheney-run, executive assassin ring. Now he’s doing what the press and other government officials should’ve immediately done: demanding a Congressional probe into the matter. Frankly, I think Cheney’s evil enough to have a kitten execution chamber in one of his bedroom closets. Also, when you hear “Congressional probe”, and imagine it’s an actual one-off device… well, why don’t you leave a comment and tell me what that looks like!

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Here’s some Irish words of wisdom. Now, go get yourself good and hammered. I know I for one will be consuming Guinness and fish n chips later. I had a reuben yesterday for lunch, so I got the corned beef part taken care of.

You’ve known it all your life. Combine more than one cord or wire, and you’ve got yourself a knot from nowhere. This entire study may be over my head, but it attempts to explain why that happens.

The Discovery Channel’s Mike Rowe (of Dirty Jobs) explains how he manages to work out, even when on the road. Clever.

I think there’s a story that goes along with this, but I’m too busy looking at the pictures of Somali pirates.

Some students managed to send a balloon up into space and take pictures. Pretty damn impressive.

I figured I’d better get this up as soon as possible: MacGyver getting revived as feature film. I’m glad to see calls for Richard Dean Anderson to star in the film plastered throughout the comments section. If they got someone else to play Mac, I don’t think I’m alone in saying I’d be furious!

Hopefully, the restaurant of the future won’t have this feature, but it’s futuristic nonetheless. I’d say it’s fine for places with a high turnover rate, but for fine dining, I can’t imagine anything more tacky.

Looking into the past. Neat!

Here’s a rather long article about a 12-year-old food critic who’s making a name for himself. The kid sounds like he’s got a good sense of humor and a good palette!

Watercone is a really simple, almost forehead-smackingly ingenious water collection tool. I’ve seen Bear Grylls and Les Stroud do similar things with trashbags and shit, but this seems like it’d be great for a lot of the poorer places of the world.

Area Dad Botches Princess Bride Quote. Brilliant.

BSR sent me this amazing treehouse, harkening back to my post about Val Kilmer’s attempt. I’d love to have a fire going in there, but it’d have to be big enough to roast a pig or something.

This has been all over the news, but if you still haven’t watched Jon Stewart annihilate CNBC’s Jim Cramer, I wholeheartedly recommend you check it out. I think I saw something like Jim Cramer’s boss has resigned since this aired, but I could be wrong.

Shoe shopping.

This reminds me a lot of the recent Trilogy Meter thing I posted, and it’s just as cool: Sit-Com House Layouts. Never really thought of them like that, but really, most of them do only have 2 main rooms. Also, Roseanne was a pretty awesome show.

Well this is certainly interesting. It seems that Seymour Hersh blurted out something about a CIA “executive assassin ring” during a speech at the University of Minnesota. Um… yeah.

Some folks are saying that this could be the new big thing with music, but I find it a little bit annoying. Super-dooper mashup of YouTube songs. That said, I like how they sort of deconstructed a YouTube page background for their page.

Hey, if you have Verizon for your wireless provider, you DEFINITELY should check this out. It has to do with Terms of Service and privacy.

Detroit’s Beautiful, Horrible Decline. Amazing photos.

5 Failed McDonald’s Menu Items. I swear to god, that pizza was fucking delicious. I can vividly remember having some on the way to visit my stepbrother at college, out in Illinois. There was a little cornmeal on the crust, and it was chewy and fantastic. I hope they still have the recipe for that shit.

City Council meeting brought to a halt with fart sounds. This is kinda hard to watch.

Octomom gives birth. (Don’t worry, it’s not real… although I can’t promise it isn’t still disturbing.)

Finally tonight, Jesus… (This excuses me from finding more of those Jesus in wood grain, toast, etc. stories for a while.)

Google Suggest shows a great disparity in our levels of intelligence.

The “clean plate club” may turn children into overeaters. DUH!

Finally, I leave you with one of the most brutal videos ever: Failed Pogo Stick Compilation.

This site delivers what it promises: Bad Paintings of Barack Obama. Hoo boy, there’s some garbage in there.

I can’t recall what movie this is from, but it’s awesome nonetheless. I could watch this all day, actually. The expression on his face as he’s “going under” gets me each time.

Here’s a rather cynical piece about why bankers don’t care about their banks.

If you’re lookin’ for a new pad in a certain neighborhood… AND you’re pretty much solely doing so on craigslist… your ship has come in, baby. Padmapper.com is all over that shit.

I might be the only person that “reads” this blog and watches Top Chef, but if not, this site covers it thoroughly.

Dude-a-Day provides daily sketches of dudes. Although… animals and the Ninja Turtles aren’t technically dudes. I’m just sayin’.

Oh boy does this blog ever suck! Ah well, let’s get on with it.

I think this might be my favorite video EVER on the Internets.

Jerry Seinfeld has got himself a new series coming out, titled The Marriage Ref. Sounds kinda lame, Jerry.

There’s a bill being introduced in California that would essentially legalize marijuana for cultivation, distribution and sales. This is, I presume, riding on the back of legislation aimed at putting marijuana regulation under the authority of individual states.

A woman who survived the great depression shares her super-cheap recipes. Hey, we all might be relying on these at some point here.

This may have already been addressed, but it seems Cleveland residents who are leasing their car have discovered a loophole in the laws surrounding red light cameras. The owner of the car is the one liable for the ticket fee, so technically you could avoid paying. I say keep doing it, and make the banks pay for it. There’s your bailout, jerks.

2,222 toothpicks in a beard.

Well-known toolbox and celebrity chef Mario Batali dished out a helping of profanity in front of the King and Queen of Spain recently. I am not surprised.

The crazies over at SomethingAwful have created something terrifying here: Birds with human arms. Terrifying, yet awesome.

Also from SA: Wake up your cat and take a picture of it. The 7th picture down is just killing me.

Have you seen this dog?

Game ads of yesteryear.

Animal heaven.

This went around the blogosphere (ouch, did I just type that?) a good while back, so you may have seen it. If not, check out I LEGO NY.

This, too, has been out for a while: Hero on the Hudson flash game. I would like to say for the record that this in no way simulates either flying or physics on Earth.

My first ever visit to Twitter: HotAmishChick. I think I found this on Cynical-C, but it was a week ago or so.

Also found of Cynical-C: Ultra-vicious dog.

Little brat!

Photos of Pyongyang. I always find North Korea photos fascinating.

Here’s one of those honest-in-title websites I like: This is why you’re fat.

Also delivering it just the way you’re imagining: The Fucking Weather.

Wrongsmith - songs transformed using Microsoft’s SongSmith.

Cakewrecks.

How to make a rainbow cake! The end result is pretty amazing.

The trilogy meter. I agree with a lot of these assessments, but I think he needs to move part 3 of Back to the Future down below the bottom of the chart.

Here’s a common problem in these times. You’ve got just $8 million to spend on a car, but so much to choose from. How can you be sure you’re spending your money wisely? Simple: just get the Exelero. There’s only one of them, and it’ll leave you with a couple hundred thousand left over to buy a handbag. I can’t get over the size of this thing. It’s a full 4 feet longer than my 93 Accord.

Bush examines his legacy.

If you’re around my age, you were probably subjected to the mind-fucking effects of The Letter People. Or, they assisted in your learning of the alphabet. Looking back, I can’t believe I haven’t been having nightmares about these characters my whole life.

Here’s a collection of odd, subway-related photos.

Bitches don’t know about my popsicle.

Top 278 Star Wars lines improved by replacing a word with “pants.” Well, it certainly starts off pretty strong.

I don’t even know how to begin explaining how bizarre this is, so you’d better just read the description: A Fistful of Rikers. (Echanos, will you pass this on to Takeaway, please?)

Who would have ever thought that modding My Little Pony dolls would be even remotely cool? Not I, but clearly I’m wrong.

The verbose Fresh Prince. Brilliant work.

A most epic cat battle, indeed. The way these photos are shot makes it seem like that, anyway.

Finally, we can stop saying “president-elect” and simplify to just President. Welcome, President Barack Obama.

Here’s some recently-discovered Obama paraphernalia I thought was cool:
Run DC
Yes We Can

I haven’t seen any clips of the inauguration yet, but I read on another blog something like: Cheney completes his transformation into an evil villain - attends ceremony in wheelchair. The alleged truth is that he pulled a muscle, but I’m pretty sure he’s just warming everyone up to his weather control / evil plot command center chair.

Few of my readers will give a crap, but the shadowy Stig character of Top Gear fame has been ousted as Ben Collins, who, unfortunately for viewers, is just a regular human. I wonder if they will have to “kill him off” like the last Stig, and get a new one.

10 Extraordinary purchases in 2008. I was just discussing how fantastic #1 is the other day, but you’d have to own at least an entire US state to afford one.

Photos from the deep waters.

Come on… that’s totally legit.

What’s in your tap water? Well, a comprehensive survey has found the 11 most common compounds in a wide selection of American tap. Ah, delicious pollution.

So, I guess Microsoft made this really awful program called Songsmith, which is supposed to create backing music for whatever you sing. It certainly wasn’t on its best behavior when someone dumped the entire David Lee Roth Running with the Devil track in… and this is the painful result. Warning: not even bleach will remove the stain this will leave on your ears.

Here are some of the world’s worst intersections.

Yes, my friends, the wait is over. Here are the results of the 2008 International Aquatic Plant Layout Contest! Really, this is pretty cool.

Sharkgull. Look out.

Spiders shouldn’t be allowed to look this cute.

Just recently, I had a conversation regarding this old wive’s tale (crock): Does gum really stay in your system for 7 years? Of course not. Anyone who has ever exercised whilst chewing gum can probably tell you they had it disintegrate right in their mouth.

I can hardly believe this, but some blogger took an obviously satirical Onion story and treated it as breaking news. Naturally, this chump picked one of the most flagrantly-fake stories in recent times: Apple Introduces Revolutionary Laptop With No Keyboard.

Well, apparently GM isn’t trying to disguise the fact that they’re flat broke … now they’re holding a garage sale!

Unarmed bear. As opposed to those gosh-darn, NRA-loving sons-a-bitches I keep running into.