Israeli rabbi says that giraffe meat and milk are kosher. Hey, good to know… especially when you’re out on safari and it seems everyone around you has given up on trying to keep kosher.

Rice field art. If you have a rice paddy and you DON’T do this… well, what fun are you?

Today’s hit video: Squirrel eats a Ritz cracker to Huey Lewis’ If This Is It. Enjoy.

What’s up, everyone!?! I’ve been busy with a number of things, including a nice web gig that’s almost complete. Time to share some links.

First and definitely foremost is this unbelievably awesome article about the great June 4, 1974 Indians game, in which all manners of chaos took place. The author provides a lengthy, stark background of Cleveland to set the stage, and even includes some transcriptions of the radio announcers. Apparently, 10 cent beer night with no restrictions was all the fans needed to lose their cool and riot… but not before many smaller, hilarious incidents took place. Oh, and Mike Hargrove himself was playing for the Rangers that night! I wholeheartedly recommend checking this out.

Here’s a 55-year-old Republican that would rather vote for Obama. Hey, after that pathetic, lazy speech McCain made yesterday, I can’t blame him. He looks like he’s kept alive with the help of some kind of medical miracle pills.

Red wine: still fucking good for you. Shit, I’m having some right now! Seriously!

Somebody, LOOK at how big Africa is. I dare you. It’s utterly tremendous. America is just a little bigger than the Sahara, from what I can tell.

Corn-fed venison: It looked good on paper. As you can imagine from the title, things did not go so well.

One quest I pretty much have to stand behind is the quest for every beard type. I’d take it on myself, but my beard’s not thick enough.

Actual Bill Cosby sweaters are currently being sold on eBay as part of a Father’s Day promotion! If I could afford to blow $5,000 on a sweater, I could at least go to the annual Sweaters and Cider Party this fall with complete confidence I’d take home a prize. Alas, I think I’ll spend that dough elsewhere.

Supercook.com is probably something you’ve been wishing the Internet had, if you’re a cook. You enter a list of ingredients and it spits out recipes you can make with what you’ve got. Rad!

My hair is a bird.

Jesus, this poor blog! Been sittin’ here since tax day, doing nothing. Well, here’s a heapin’ helpin’ of links… starting back on April 17th. Oh, and by the way, Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Obama: I would “immediately review” potential Bush war crimes. Now that is some really good news. Heck, I don’t even want to picture George Bush enjoying retirement. The man should have to enjoy a 10×10 cell, and that’s it.

Bento box lunches as album covers, including the Weezer Green Album, which I found particularly impressive.

Some cartoonist drew his entire yearbook from 1968 in his own style. Although it’s fun to look at, I wish I could push a button and see my high school’s yearbook drawn like this, too.

Scientists say they’ve found a cure for acne that would reduce the amount of sebum your body produces. This oily substance is believed to be a significant cause of blemishes. Who knew?

Here’s a Princess Bride video game - however, I haven’t tried it out. Someone let me know if it’s cool!

African Barber Signs.

Kyaaaaaaa… (Utterly awesome)

This Private Property sign kinda goes without saying.

Ever want to know how some of those rockstar stage names came to be? Here’s a few stories behind the monikers.

Up in Eugene, Oregon, there’s plenty of white folks, which led them to form a committee that could recommend more effective ways of communicating with their black population. That of course led to this great video: How to talk to black people.

Dig this awesome bike storage tower in Tokyo!

Arby’s is buying Wendy’s?! Noooooooo!

Helen Thomas busts some White House balls at a press conference. Nice goin’!

LivingXL.com is a commercial sanctuary for the proudly obese. Like, a hammock that can handle 1,250 lbs…

A fellow on SomethingAwful got his vicious revenge on a nest of bees. Hey, you mess with a rusty, old swingset, and you get the horns. Right?

A spear-fishing orangutan! Holy crap.

Here’s a fun little Flash game where you have to build roller coasters. Well, it’s fun until they keep flying off the track and landing in a crumpled ball.

The talk of the town for some time has been the light brown apple moth… or, the reason for our state’s decision to spray pesticide over residential areas. A group of moms have joined the fight against spraying, who are probably keenly aware that the test sprays caused people to get sick, especially young ones. PlayNotSpray is another group lashing out at the government in the hope that we won’t all become mutated and ill. Seriously though, we are not crops. People are not crops. You can’t just freaking spray us, assholes! Check out StopTheSpray and sign the petition… it’s the same one from all of these sites.

Food is fucking expensive. Riots have been taking place around the world in the poorest areas, simply due to the unmanageable increase in food costs. The cost of wheat, for example, has risen 120% in the past year alone. Many people have cited the decision to use corn for fuel instead of food as part of the reason. I have to agree… corn IS delicious, and we should be eating it. Some are turning to the humble potato, due to its versatility and low cost. I have to agree here as well. Potatoes are great.

Does coffee dehydrate you too much to count towards your daily water intake? People like Z. Humes and D. Folino have probably been wondering about this for some time, given that nearly 94% of their liquid intake for the day is dark brown and comes in a mug. Thankfully, they can go on subsiding on a diet of cigs and joe. Coffee counts.

Salt and pepper… really close up.

MapJack.com only features three cities right now, but it’s like Google’s Street View on steroids. Currently, you can virtually stroll through San Francisco, Sausalito, and, totally randomly, Chiang Mai in Thailand. Damn… why couldn’t they do Udon Thani or somewhere I went? Oh well. It’s still cool.

Worst sports tattoo ever.

Finally, finally, FINALLY there are pictures of the North Pacific Garbage Patch. Actually, it’s far better than that. Some brave folks decided to sail out into it and videotape the whole thing. Just as I suspected, there is no “money shot” - no floating island of garbage that one could stand on. Instead, it’s just a disgusting place to be, where nets bring in a continuous stream of plastic and other debris. Sickeningly fascinating.

Frontier Airlines has now filed for bankruptcy, joining ATA, Aloha and Skybus in what seems to be a partial collapse of the US airline industry. Also fucking shit up is American Airlines, who has now canceled more than 250,000 people’s travel plans. Hey, airline execs … while all your planes are grounded, how about taking out every other row of seats so my ass cheeks don’t fall asleep after 2 hours? Maybe burn a little Nag Champa in the crapper, too. That thing’s rank.

I’ve seen this on just about every blog I visit: the 50 greatest sketch comedy bits of all time. Although I don’t think Monty Python’s dead parrot bit is anywhere near as good as some Mr. Show sketches, it’s still a huge collection of some funny stuff.

Someone made a 48″ Star Destroyer model completely from scratch, and it’s amazing.

You don’t really need to drink eight glasses of water every day. This, and other such water myths, debunked by NPR. Thanks.

San Francisco is thinking about dedicating one of its wastewater treatment plants in George W. Bush’s honor. How very appropriate. And awesome.

A little league baseball game gets turned into The Best Game Ever by Improv Everywhere.

If you weren’t in the vicinity of Book Zoo this weekend, you missed some seriously cool stuff. First was the book signing with R. Black, which featured a duo of fire-eating girls on the street. Totally awesome. Then, on Sunday, books were sold for $1 per pound out on the sidewalk. I had better see at least 3 people reading books on my way to work today.

Job Market 2009. A laughably-grim version of the future.

A very controversial billboard in Florida has been upsetting a lot of people, and putting a big, smug grin on my face.

It’s official: Toys have jumped the shark.

This dog is trained a little too well.

Aloha Airlines is shutting down after sixty years of service. The sales from a new airline called “go!” have hurt their business enough to declare bankruptcy, and any deals that could have bailed them out simply didn’t happen in time. It sucks they have to hang it up, but you would think they should have been better prepared for competition down the road.

The Vatican says Islam is now bigger than Catholicism. How ’bout that?! If nothing else, I guess this means we’ll have more people on our side when we prosecute GW Bush for war crimes in a couple of years. Then again, he probably didn’t make a whole lot of Catholic friends, either.

Vitamin Water just too sissy for ya? You’re in luck… now there’s MeatWater! Alright, there really isn’t. And thank god for that, with such flavors as goulash and dirty hot dog.

Russian cuisine: the starters. Sure, about 80% of them rely on vodka as the main “ingredient”, but almost all of them look very appetizing.

Make a wallet out of a shopping bag. Why, thanks! I think I will.

Rick Astley talks about the Rick Rollin’ phenomenon. He has no plans to release anything or try to capitalize on what’s been going on, which is pretty cool.

Hillary Clinton’s 3 A.M. girl doesn’t approve of her message. She DOES approve of Obama, however.

8 Least Impressive Guinness World Records. I don’t know… the guy with the world’s longest ear hair impresses the hell outta me. How does that even happen?!

A gourmet meal made from 99 cent store foods. Quite impressive, and hilarious.

Ever hear those Mongolian chanting dudes that can produce more than one tone in their voice? Well, here’s some regular guy doing that to the tune of Amazing Grace. (You just want to listen to the overtones, which are kind of high-pitched and whistle-ish.

Also requiring you to listen closely: Can you tell the difference between a 128kbps mp3 and a 320kbps mp3? I can. And I’m very smug about it.

Undoubtedly, you’ve come across several different versions of the Last Supper painting during your travels across the Internets. Here’s a boatload of ‘em, all in once place. I always liked the Star Wars one.

Here’s a gallery of Star Trek bridge drawings.

Someone made the Futurama headquarters and a bunch of the characters out of LEGO. Impressive!

16 Extreme beds. Alright, that does it. The word “extreme” has not only jumped the shark, but then called for the shark to come jump IT.

The Infamous Moto-Penis. I think you can guess what it is.

Angry BBQ.

Alright, if all goes well, this is going to be a mega post of stuff. I’m going on vacation tomorrow, and I’ve been on vacation when it comes to this blog, so it’s only fitting to plop a bunch of stuff down. I guess I’ll go from newest to oldest.

Some kind of strange, gnome-like creature was captured on video down in South America. It looks pretty fake, but even so, the sideways mode in which it walks is terrifying.

Space Toys of the 1970s. Man, I can’t believe I thought Transformers were an original idea!

Gabe Perez pulled an awfully drawn-out prank with his high school ID. Awesome.

Apparently, the push-up is regarded as the standard of all exercises. If you can do at least one, you can handle a fall. Good point, I suppose.

Maybe one of you Ohioans can confirm this story: Unusual Home Invasion.

Guinness made a very clever ad for how to make a cup of noodles. It’s like that Honda ad with all the things happening in sequence, except, well… not car-related.

If you’ve never seen a tall bike before, these babies ought to give you a shock. Yeah… there’s no way I’d even attempt either of them.

This is like some kind of design-your-own kaleidoscope thing, using Flash. At first it may not seem that fun, but it’ll grow on ya.

If Celebs Moved to Oklahoma. These are some truly amazing Photoshop jobs.

Flickrvision lets you see photos currently being uploaded to Flickr, on a world map! Far out, man.

Speaking of far out, here’s some stoners using a parachute to hide under. Hilarity ensues.

I can’t get over these outlandish tombstones for Russian gangsters… I mean, what the hell? The number of them featuring Mercedes sedans is impressive, to say the least.

I don’t know who put this together, but it’s rather amazing no one ever took note of it before: The Wonder Years without narration is mostly people staring at each other. Haha! Quite true.

Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch is falling apart.

I guess there’s a lot of stuff that goes on behind the scenes before a space shuttle launch. A lot of COOL stuff.

The Alternative Press reports they found traces of all kinds of drugs in drinking water. Just fantastic. What’ll it be today? Prozac? A little cocaine, perhaps?

Don’t recycle? You’re going to hell, says the Vatican.

This is pretty impressive: a map of all the options in a Choose Your Own Adventure book. Damn! I don’t remember exploring nearly that many. Then again, I probably just kept skipping over them until I found the one I wanted most.

I’m sorry to report that the claims of a certain Alameda resident are true: the Assquatch is a real thing. And it’s pretty damn stupid. And gross.

The Big Lebowski Random Quote Generator. I feel as though I’ve posted this before. Oh well, it’s still cool.

The Eisenhower Interstate System (simplified). If you could only carry a tiny, one-page map with you to tour the US… well… I guess this’d have to be it.

7 insane conspiracy theories that actually happened.

Weemade is a cool blog that features artwork by kids.

Converse: A century of shoes.

Have you heard about the Airborne settlement? Yeah, the big surprise is that it doesn’t live up to its claims. But what’s cool is that, if you happened to have receipts for it on hand, you can get your money back.

Scientists have discovered two cell proteins that are responsible for letting your stomach relax, accommodating more food. They figure they can achieve similar effects to stomach stapling, but using your own body’s tools. Hm.

Lest ye forget: Alaska is fucking HUGE!

What else is huge? This turban! Holy shit!!!

INTERNET!!!

It was recently discovered that L. Ron Hubbard actually plagiarized his Scientology book. Back in 1934, a book entitled Scientologie was written, which discusses many of the founding principles. Now what?!

Obama unknowingly cock-blocked a student reporter, then called him up to personally apologize for “messing up his game”. That’s pretty cool. You know Bush would’ve just laughed, and if anything, gloated about ruining the poor boy’s chances.

Jimmy Kimmel, not to be outdone by Sarah Silverman’s “I’m Fucking Matt Damon” song, releases “I’m Fucking Ben Affleck”. While Matt is clearly the only one of the two with a measurable IQ, this new video features a shit-ton of celebrity cameos.

And speaking of celebrities, here’s an interesting graph showing the ebb and flow of box office sales since 1986.

Here are some artist renditions of what the night sky looked like and will look like waaaay in the future. Freaky.

At their FCC hearing, Comcast paid people to sit in court and cheer for their side of the story. Pathetic! These shenanigans have gone on long enough, jerks. Give us our Internet back.

Maxim reviewed the upcoming Black Crowes release Warpaint without actually listening to it. Jerks as well! I happen to be mildly excited about this release.

The French eat until they’re full, Americans eat until the food is gone. Something to think about.

Awesomely-decorated Pakistani cars.

Yes, oh yes. GW’s rating has plummeted once again, all the way down to a dismal 19%. Okay, this should have happened about 6 years ago, but let’s not bicker.

New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg says Obama was a victim of fraud in his city’s Primary vote. Yeah, I’d say if 80 districts said no one voted for him, fraud’s the word. I for one am willing to assert Hillary was behind this. Just to see if people start talkin’ about it.

Come on, O’Reilly! Can you ever ease back on being a racist bag of feces? Of course not.

Readers Digest finds out where all those taxpayer dollars are really going. All over the damn place, including lots of places that waste it.

If you were sitting around waiting for a reason to dislike Republican candidate John McCain, how about: he wants to step up the drug war. Ohhh, great.

One thing I thought I’d never get to see in my life is Lionel Richie on helium. Singing. How did I get so lucky?!

Patrick Stewart Fantasies has to be watched to be fully appreciated.

Where does Mario go when he dies?

Alright, if you’ve never been RickRolled - voluntarily do so now.

You were just RickRolled. Now… here is a baby being RickRolled! I know how this baby feels. There is something very zen about Rick.

Biggest Star Wars Collection Ever.

During the Simpsons intro, right after Maggie and Marge simultaneously blow the horn, there’s a very blurry clip leading to the garage sequence. Here is what goes down during the blur.

Turn down your speakers for this one. Some kid’s older brother brings him to tears over his precious MySpace. Holy shit does this kid love MySpace! God… even if I tried, I couldn’t spend more than about 10 minutes at a time on there. This is pathetic.